The F word: when most people hear that description, they immediately think of a four letter word that has become a popular and vulgar descriptor for pretty much anything. At its most tame, it can be used as an adjective to describe something enjoyable (“that’s f***ing awesome), at its most vulgar it is used as an expression for sex and can be used as a way to tell someone off (“go f*** yourself”). Regardless of context, this word is seen as deviant to society. It’s banned in most schools, workplaces, and vocabularies of young children –though none of these attempts are successful. The acceptance of this word, particularly in younger generations (myself included), is becoming more wide-spread. Instead, another F word that I relate to has been more discriminated against than “f*ck” and become more taboo amongst social conversation.
Feminist. Anyone with a sense of social topics knows that this word is often a loaded one. At its very base, feminism describes a need for equality and the demand that women be treated the same as men. I am a person who believes in equal treatment, therefore I am a feminist. If you also believe in equal rights, you are one as well. So how can a word with such positive connotations be seen in such a negative light and be more stigmatized than a widely-recognized swear word?
All women that identify as feminist and see it as a crucial part of their identity have inevitably experienced one or more of these situations:
- The coming out phase. You meet someone and things are going well. You begin talking about your beliefs and interests, and that’s when your worry sets in. You know that, at some point, you will bring up being a feminist (you always do). The only uncertainty is how the person will react.
- My experience with the word has lead to silence and a break in conversation. Nothing sets someone on edge like realizing you know your worth and believe that you are also a person.
- Or the person may react by unloading a million questions on you to try and shake your belief. Are you a really a feminist, if you can’t answer their sudden outpouring of obscure questions?! If you haven’t given any thought to “whether or not a minority male is more disadvantaged than a white female” or cannot answer for “why all feminists hate men,” then they don’t think you are one.
- No one can seem to ignore the giant feminist in the room. You are at a party, people are drinking and having a good time and, inevitably, the talk becomes more risqué than what takes place in a classroom. Something insensitive or sexist is said, and all eyes turn to you. “Sorry ________ , I just needed to say that,” is said as everyone watches, waiting for a reaction. The most annoying part of being a feminist is that people expect you to constantly assert your opinion onto them, and I refuse to play into that. The fact that you apologized means you know it was wrong, there’s nothing I need to say.
- The “I’m Not a Feminist” girl. This may just be personal opinion, but what annoys me more than anything are women that put down feminists. It is completely fine if you don’t agree with the movement, but you need to realize that there is an issue. No one is so blind that they can’t see that women are still discriminated against in many ways. At the very least they need to recognize that what we have and enjoy today would not be possible without strong feminist women from the past. If feminism was truly irrelevant and unnecessary, I would be unable to write this article for you. The problem would be that I didn’t know how to read, write, or think independently of what my husband taught me.
- Being told that feminists complain too much about oppression and create problems that don’t exist. If someone feels they are being oppressed, it is their right to say so. End of discussion.
- Having to joke about your beliefs to be seen as less severe. “Ha Ha that’s funny. What you just said could have been taken as sexual harassment Ha Ha…. But seriously, don’t say it ever again.” You feel the need to get your point across, but sometimes you try to do it lightly to avoid the stereotypes associated with “crazy feminists.”
- Consequently, when you flat out call someone out on something derogatory that they said, you are told you have no sense of humour. Believe me, I’m funny. I know how to take a joke. If I called you out, it’s because you crossed a line.
I have a secret for everyone: there is no such thing as a typical feminist. Feminists come in different genders, ethnicities, ages, and from different socio-economic backgrounds. The fact that the common conception of feminism still lumps all feminists together and holds them to the same generalizations just further proves the point that there is still much improvement to be made. Feminism is not a stereotype or a set of rules to be followed. It is an open discussion that everyone needs to add to. I know that I am an imperfect feminist. I believe strongly in some aspects while turning a blind eye to others. More importantly, that is okay. Just because I am not a living, breathing example of a perfect feminist woman does not make my cause superficial. I just want to add my input to the conversation without constantly being discredited.
I discussed two F words in this article: one is seen as an insult and in many ways one of the worst things you can use to characterize someone as, and the other is a swear word.