I'm Emotional, Sensitive, and Heartbroken, So What?

In the honour of writing this article for Bell Let’s Talk, I want to share my story on mental health and how I’ve been dealing with it for the most part of my life. Everyone puts on an invisible mask to cover their pain, insecurities, and heartbreaks, only to avoid being vulnerable and protect themselves from pity and shame. I want to argue that being emotionally vulnerable for both women and men is healthy because it allows you to open up and let others accept your real self under false stereotypes that society imposed on us.

When you think of the two common used words—depression and anxiety disorders—you often associate with someone who is going through a rough time and that he or she is going to get better soon. False, it takes someone a really long time to get better after a traumatic event and it can deeply affect the person’s mentality and character. The only way to heal is through counselling, the support from family and friends, and especially time. I am saying this because I once suffered from depression and made it through and it was not easy, but everyday from those traumatic events, it leaves a scar. I want to confess that mental health is a serious issue, and opening up and accepting it is an important step to heal. I’m not afraid to say that I am still heartbroken from my past because I am human and I’m not afraid to admit that I am weak, vulnerable, sensitive and emotional, but... so what?  

But so what when the people around me and my boss tell me I’m not good enough?

But so what when the people I cared about disappointed me and made me doubt myself?

But so what when I cry in my room because I’m sensitive and emotional? It’s better to cry it out anyway than to suppress my emotions.

But so what I overthink a lot? I know I need to think positive, but my mind never cooperates.

But so what that my insecurities make me feel less worthy? And that I compare myself to others most of the the time? I know I shouldn’t, I try not to, but it is a part of me and I have to accept it.

But so what when the guy I liked say that “we’re not dating” okay, I accept it, it hurts, but let’s move on.

But so what when school stresses me out and puts me down at times? Every student is in the same situation and I’m not alone.

But so what that I’m not exactly perfect, at least I am being vulnerable and accepting my flaws right now.

Seriously, so, what?

In the purpose of writing this article, I really want you wonderful people to accept your flaws, insecurities, and heartbreaks and not be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. I’ve learned being vulnerable can lead to many open possibilities to real and new friendships, new adventures, new careers and etc. Being vulnerable is courage to accept the world, yourself and trust that the people who love you will support you, always.