To my best friend:
I never thought I’d find what we have, especially with you.
I always thought you were supposed to be a different figure in my life. Looking back, you were not really ever mean or unsupportive. Nothing like that. You were actually always incredible. I was just too naive and immature to see just how much you are able to offer my wonderful life.
Through all the years I have known you, I wondered, how the hell do people do this? How do people befriend this kind of person? That’s just not how I saw you and for the life of me I couldn’t change it, you were just so unfriendable to me. Oh well, you were always going to be there so I didn’t see the point in trying to change anything anyways.
You always seemed to be a bit too concerned with what I was up to which was always annoying, and since the last few years that part hasn’t seemed so bad. People always tell me I remind them of you and I would roll my eyes and not see it, or at least claim not to.
You’ve seen me cry way too many times and talked to me in ways I hope nobody ever does. No one deserves to talk to me the way you do. They don’t have that kind of power. No one should, but apparently, you do.
I guess I’m questioning and analyzing the things that someone is never really supposed to, but here I am. But you know, I’ve realized it’s just because I have been blessed with the best gift and have been since the day I was born.
Mom,
I am so thankful for you.
We have always been able to laugh and share some interests, but as a girl, I never felt you were a friend to me. You were my mom…and there was nothing wrong with that really. You were just this very powerful, terrifying, generous, loving being I received when I was born.
I initially thought you changed throughout the stages of my life, which now sounds silly of course because you’re Mom, a grown, established woman. That’s just it. But I realize now that it’s me who has changed. Through the stages of my life, I have been able to appreciate you in so many different ways and now that I am a woman, I am able to take a step back and collectively admire all that you have given me.
Mom, there are no words to describe you, nor our relationship. You truly are my best friend. You used to only put me in my place and the day I realized we were best friends, finally… was the day I realized you created a woman who can put you right back in your place when you need it. Not that I believe we are entirely equal now that I’m older — believe me, you still scare the shit out of me— but we have a special relationship now where instead of just me needing you, you are able to show me that you need me too. As your best friend.
You will forever teach me how to be such a powerful, strong, independent woman. Some girls look up to women like Beyonce or Meryl Streep. But there is no album, lyric, role or line that could compare to the human being you are to this whole world, and ultimately mine. I have my own celebrity for a mom. How many people can say that? I’m sure many will claim but they don’t understand and I don’t care that they don’t because you are mine. Forever mine — and Erin’s, but like this isn’t about her (love u tho). And hey, even Erin would agree with every single word I’m saying and probably more because she was blessed to have you for three whole years to herself before I came along.
Mom, you are so beautiful. You have no idea what you have done to my world. Sure, you flip it inside out and upside down and you drive me insane but so do all of my best friends, and only the ones who matter the most have that kind of vulnerable effect on me. You tire me to no end with your endless, unconditional love and I will never ever be able to repay you beside the promise that I will love my own kids this same way.
Considering we all come from different beginnings, I’m glad that mine was with you. There is nothing on this earth that will tear us apart no matter what happens because the truth is you have given me so many people all wrapped up into one gorgeous, warm human I get to call Mom. You gave me a role model, a therapist, a counsellor, a tutor, a teacher, a coach, a warden (when necessary), an angel, a comedian and of course a best friend. The best friend you always helped me search for in all the drama a young girl goes through with social groups and you were right there all along. I’m sorry you saw me through so much pain without ever realizing until now what was in front of me. But I’m here now and so are you. Thank you for being you. Thank you Mom. You gave me the best family a girl could ask for. You raised my beautiful sister into a person who makes mistakes but is still so perfect. She is my polar opposite but you raised us to still see the beauty and success in each other. You taught us to lift others up and pin down those who try to bring our ambitions beneath theirs. You taught us to not worry about fitting into glass slippers, but to be able to shatter glass ceilings so we could someday afford pumps of diamonds. I could go on for so many lines about who you are to me but that doesn’t matter because that’s just who you are. You’re my mom. I love you so much and you will never be able to truly understand what you have done for me. Just, thank you Shawna. You are my best friend and I’d be lost without you.
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