How To Break A Heart

All of the breakup quotes on Pinterest are about being broken up with. They’re about getting over a broken heart, letting go of the one who didn’t love you, it’s their loss, they’ll regret it someday. But what if you’re the one who’s doing the breaking? How are you supposed to find peace with your decision when everything is telling you you’re the bad guy? How are you supposed to move on?

You do it because you keep telling yourself you will. Because even though he knows all the right words to send you running back they all just sound like lies now. Because you waited for him to come around. Waited for things to get better. Waited for something to change. Because after a year he was still lying and you were still waiting.

Because one day you’ll wake up and see his name on your phone and something inside you will just click. Because you’re holding on desperately but you forget why. Because you can’t remember if your heart ever fluttered at the sound of his voice or if he ever made you feel like maybe your kisses could cure cancer.

You’ll move on because you’ll finally realize that you deserve more. You deserve more than words that say one thing and actions that say another. More than canceled plans. More than forgotten conversations. More than 12AM booty calls and the faint smell of an old joint on his sweater. Because maybe he wanted to be who you needed but maybe he just couldn’t.

Because you walked away to save yourself and he begged you to stay and save him instead. Because he didn’t notice that you were already halfway gone. Because you’re no longer sure if it’s even you he was in love with. Because you could recite his history as if it were your own but he didn’t even know your middle name. Because how the hell could he love someone he didn’t even know?

You’ll do it because he didn’t care that you were unhappy. Because he didn’t even realize. Because when you yelled that you’re a GOOD F*CKING PERSON he did everything to convince you that you weren’t. Because his love drowned in anger the second he didn’t get what he wanted. Because two months ago you were the most amazing woman he’d ever met but now you get two page descriptions of every mistake you’ve ever made. Because you were the love of his life until you decided to leave, and then you were nothing but a monster.

Because the truth is, you’re allowed to leave – whether you have a reason or not. And that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Or a flight risk. Or a quitter. Because if you finally feel like you can breathe again for the first time in months or if the thought of staying is scarier than leaving... break his heart. Break his heart to mend your own. Because you are a good f*cking person, with or without him.