Dear Perrie,
I’m sorry about Zayn.
We’ve all gone through break-ups, whether it’s with a long time partner, a best friend, or even a pet that has passed away. It’s hard to let go. We can put on a brave face and act like we’re okay, but deep down, we usually aren’t… at least for a while.
My heart aches for you in light of your engagement’s end. I obviously don’t know you or Zayn Malik personally, or the reasons as to why you are no longer set to be wed, but I am genuinely sad for you, and find myself wishing that I could give you a hug – and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.
I am sad that two people were once so in love, and now they are not. I am sad that you’ve spent so much time working to survive the hardships of long distance, and that even with all the effort you’ve both put in, it didn’t work out. I’m sad that you and Zayn shot down critics who said you were too young to be engaged, and now they’re freely saying “I told you so”, like you two never had a chance at all. I’m sad that a person can come so close to marrying the man of their dreams, the person they love, to then have that dream disappear. I’m sad that you trusted that someone would forever love you for the rest of your life, and now they are no longer in your life at all. I am sad that I also could one day plan to marry someone and not have it work out, that all of these things could also happen to me.
Cheating, divorce, abuse, dishonesty, and giving up are themes that have become all too familiar, and not only in Hollywood, but in average lives as well. It’s scary to commit, because we risk one day feeling wrong about our choices. We risk the other person changing their mind. Love truly can be amazing, but it’s also terrifying, because breakups are painful, and fills those suffering with seemingly endless doubt. These fears pile in young minds; especially the ones who have been burned before (or have watched their parents follow these paths), and it leaves us wondering why we would even bother dating at our age, (or ever) at all… No wonder we’ve adapted to a hook-up culture- in which we won’t commit. Its not just because we don’t want to, it’s because we’re afraid to, and because it seems safer not to.
I’ve had my share of heartbreak, but thankfully, I’m not an international pop star, and at the time of my splits, I was not touring the world promoting my new single. You don’t have this luxury, and I am so sorry that you don’t. During a recent performance of your song “The End” it’s no wonder you finally broke down, unable to finish singing the hit song. I cannot imagine how horrible it must be to manage a broken heart (under a global microscope), while also trying to stay picture-perfect (while selling an album)… Talk about stress! If I were in your shoes, I guarantee I would be desperate to stay inside, under the covers, and out of the spotlight. But you’ve been there- at every signing, every performance, and every interview, keeping strong, trying not to let your fans down.
I commend you for those displays of strength, but I commend you even more for your recent public cry. I’m sure you tried to fight back this emotion, and have been fearing it’s inevitability, but sometimes it doesn’t matter how badly you try, sometimes you have to just let it out. Sometimes you just can’t keep it together – and that is MORE than OK. That moment proved more powerful than any of your prior actions following the announcement because you genuinely admitted that what happened to you IS sad and it DOES hurt. I personally want to thank you for showing such a personal moment with the world, an encourage you to share more if you so chose. These moments are the ones that remind me and many other girls that even the most beautiful, talented, and successful people go through hard times, and feel hurt when things don’t work out for them. These moments make you real, and it allows us to learn and relate for ourselves.
With all that is bad, eventually comes some good. I am in awe of your Little Mix family. You have all handled this heartbreaking situation with grace and love. Your friends have banded around you, guarding your heart. If nothing else, Little Mix has publicly proven the importance of strong AND supportive female friendships. So often we see pop-stars and celebrities creating dramatic feuds for publicity. It is soooo refreshing to see a group of friends protecting their own, above anything else. Jade, Jessy, and Leigh-Anne’s reactions to your first, public, emotional, moment, speaks volumes towards the friendship this group shares. You may have lost a fiancé, but you have some pretty awesome friends – and that’s irrefutably the brightest side to this sad situation. So, although I cannot speak towards your relationship with Zayn, I feel that so many of us can now speak towards your ability to maintain positive friendships. True friends are there when you need them, when you’re hurt, broken hearted, and scared. True friends are there for you, because they know you’d be there for them if they were ever in the same situation. So let it out girl, Little Mix has your back, and I do too.
Sincerly, K.A