Confessions of a Bibliophile

Whether you’re a closet bibliophile, newly affectionate to our paper-bound friends, or your friends lovingly dub you the bookworm, every book-lover can relate to these confessions.


1. You don’t hate poetry as much as everybody around you (actually, you quite enjoy it).

Read aloud or privately, you firmly believe that poetry has its place in our society.


Not a fan of rhyming couplets or Shakespeare’s blank verse? Check out some modern works, like Poems from Guantánamo compiled by Marc Falkoff or Milk and Honey by the insta-poet Rupi Kaur.


2. English class was and always will be your favourite class.

While most of your high school classmates dreaded the lectures on punctuation, literature and essay structure, you lived for it.

Now that you’re in university, there’s a good chance you’re pursuing some form of an English degree and the sky is the limit. Your classes include post-war science fiction, children’s literature and, if you’re lucky enough to attend Western University, you even get to study George R. R. Martin’s popular series A Game of Thrones.


3. The books will always be better than the TV/Film adaptation.

*cough, cough, Game of Thrones*

(Bet you didn’t know the book series is actually called A Song of Fire and Ice).

Sure, lots of people will agree that this is true, but you don’t actually know until you’ve read the books.


4. You follow your favourite authors more than you follow contemporary celebrities.

What obscene and/or ludicrous scandal have the Kardashians gotten up to recently? YOU DON’T KNOW because you were too busy contemplating the death of Edgar Allen Poe.

165 years ago, the author of The Tell-Tale Heart and Black Cat mysteriously died, and the exact nature of his death is still unknown. Was it drunkenness? An underground voter-fraud cartel? Murder? Rabies? These are the thoughts that keep you up at night.

To add to the drama, immediately after Poe’s death his cat Catterina died (RIP kitty), DUH DUH DUUUUUUUH.


5. You’re not a history major, but damn, do you love your historical fiction.

As a twenty-something, supposedly tech-savvy millennial, you cannot explain how to tweak the preferences of your computer’s operating system, complete your income taxes, or change a tire on your car.


However, you can discuss the Third Servile War in Rome (whassup Spartacus) or the specifics of Anne Boleyn (tumultuous love affair with King Henry VIII, mother of Queen Elizabeth I, beheaded… DUH). Basically, anything from this century does not exist in your head.


6. You’re a quote-collector.

They're scribbled on paper, in your notebooks, all over your Tumblr, your screensaver and possibly tatted on your person.

Those little reminders of the characters you’ve “met,” the adventures you’ve been on and the lessons you’ve learned that are important to you. At times, it’s a corny habit, but often you’ve got the perfect thing to say right at the tip of your tongue.


7. eReading isn’t anti-book, but it just isn’t for you.

You've curiously tried the Kindle, the Nook, and the Odyssey, and despite the novelty there just wasn’t anything that special about them. “Convenience” and “lightweight” are buzz words used to sell eReaders to people who don’t appreciate the upper body workout that can only come from carting around hardcover novels all day.

Plus, nothing ever matches up to the sound of turning the pages of a physical book, and the smell of old books (which is actually a thing thanks to the breakdown of cellulose and lignin in paper #science).


8. You always have a book.

Whether you’re taking the bus downtown, heading to a friend’s party or being semi-productive at work, you always have a book handy. A dedicated bibliophile has multiple books on the go, ready to read at every opportunity.

Some people kill time on their phones but you’re dedicated to that world on the page.


9. #bookhaul is a very real thing for you.

It's likely one of the few hashtags you can relate to.

Most people your age are spending their money on bottle service at the bars, but you’re dropping the big bucks getting those next few novels on your wish-list.


10. You can never get enough of bookstores and libraries.

It's 2016, you’re 21 and you still have a library card. You frequent bookstores (other than the one on your university campus), and you’ve got a favourite used bookstore somewhere.

London, Ontario boasts a few amazing used book stores, like Attic Books (which has some brilliant maps on their top floor) and my personal favourite, City Lights Bookshop.