It’s easier to compare yourself to others than to think about how others might be comparing themselves to you. We all do it; it’s just human nature. Every time we see someone else achieving their goals, we immediately start thinking about all the goals we have yet to achieve ourselves. This ultimately makes us feel worse about not celebrating our successes in the same way, forgetting that we have accomplished things that might be making other people feel the way we feel.
No matter how much I try to stop comparing myself to other people, I constantly find myself struggling to break the cycle. I’ll be in a positive mindset about my grades or my body, and suddenly it seems like my social media is filled with people I know celebrating all of their accomplishments. Immediately, all the positive thinking I previously had, vanishes. I begin to reevaluate my own goals and question why I haven’t achieved the same things, or why I hadn’t been actively pursuing something that others are.
My mind becomes so wrapped up in thinking about how much I want the same things as the people around me that I forget about the very feats I have gained that might seem unattainable to other people.
An example that comes to mind is my recent NaNoWriMo win, where I managed to write 50,000 words during the month of November while simultaneously working and studying. That was a goal I set for myself and was insanely proud of having reached. Yet, I’m sure there were those on my newsfeed that saw my accomplishment and immediately felt bad about having not completed NaNoWriMo, or even simpler, having no triumphs in general.
But why does an accomplishment have to be major or “unattainable” to be celebrated?
I’ve been trying to break the habit of instantly feeling bad when I see someone accomplish something and share it online. One of the best things I’ve found that helps me cope with the negative thoughts is to remind myself of something—anything—positive I’ve done recently that was worthy of even private celebration: finishing an essay that was late, doing the laundry I’d been avoiding, getting a grade that was better than I expected. Just celebrating any small thing that, while it might not seem like a huge achievement, might actually be huge.
Honestly, success is in the eye of the beholder (if you pardon my malaphor). It’s up to you to acknowledge those small accomplishments in your own life and recognize that while, yes, others around you might be achieving their goals, you too are attaining yours, just in your own time and way.
Progress is not a singular path, nor is it identical for everybody. There is nothing wrong with your victories being small while someone else’s is large because perhaps one day it will be reversed. Relishing in the small moments of success is altogether more productive than feeling bad about having no major milestone to celebrate. No matter what form your success takes, it is still a success in the end.
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