When I get close to someone, I get extremely attached to them. No matter what they do to me, once they become a part of my life, I can’t let go of them. I give them chance after chance, trying to convince myself that they still care about me. However, there is a point where enough is enough and for the sake of my own dignity, I have to accept that there are friends that have to be broken up with. I learned the hard way that some friendships have an expiry date, no matter how good they once were.
Here are five signs that I had to face before finally letting go.
1. You are always the one to reach out
For some reason, you miss them. You used to be so close, and you want nothing more but to have that back. So you message them, you Snapchat them, you try to make plans. If you’re always the one to initiate conversation, then this friendship is one sided and not worth your time. A friendship has to be balanced, otherwise it sinks, like the Titanic.
2. They often cancel when you finally do set up plans
“Sorry, somehow I completely forgot that….” Stop right there. There will be excuse after excuse. It’s like a kid who always “forgets” to bring their homework to class, when we all know he never actually did it in the first place. Your friend probably accepted to hang out of guilt, or convenience or boredom and when other, better plans came along, they chose that. Sounds harsh? Eat a piece of chocolate, toss your hair, swing your hips and show them you’re better off without them anyway.
3. They are always too busy
If you are messaging them needing advice and they can’t spare 10 minutes on the phone or half an hour to see you in your time of need, then they probably don’t care enough and neither should you. You’re thinking of that time you cried, and your friend held you tight and told you it was going to be okay aren’t you? That may have been the case then, but people change, and they grow apart. Accept that.
4. They often ignore your messages
Ghosting is not just a thing boys do nowadays. I’ve realized that friends can go ghost on you too. It always feels a little demeaning to see that “Read” notification and know the person read the message and still chose not to respond. Girl, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Cut.Them.Out.
5. They do something nice for you once in a blue moon
This is the hard part, because this is when you remember why you’re friends with this person in the first place. However, when your friend does something nice for you it shouldn’t feel like a rare sighting. It should be a norm; you both do nice things for each other because you care. Don’t get stuck in a cycle, because soon enough they’ll probably ignore your texts again. It takes literarily a minute to respond, if they can’t do that, then why are you giving them so much time and thought?
When you finally break up with a friend, it doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. There is a limit after which you should give up because your time is precious and you are precious. You tried your best. If a person doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated, then that person doesn’t deserve your company. No matter how close you once were, take the memories you had with them, and what that friendship has taught you and cherish it. People come in and out of your life for a reason. Don’t be scared to let go.