It’s the age old question: can guys and girls be just friends? I’m a firm believer that the answer is a resonating yes! As much as I love my girl time, my guy friends have shown me a whole other meaning to friendships. My closest friend group growing up consisted of more guys than girls, and that was never a problem. Most of us remained platonic after many years. The problem arises when a light switches on and the same person that you never even considered for a drunk makeout becomes the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of before you go to bed. If you identify with this, maybe we can figure it out together.
What changes?
It is never expected and is always gradual, but it also seemingly happens very quickly. Before even realizing what’s happening, your stomach is in knots. It can be as subtle as a hug that is suddenly loaded with intention. Maybe your friends pointed out to you that he likes you and even though you immediately denied it, it started to consume your thoughts and the simple possibility portrayed him differently. The fact of the matter is now you feel this way, and it is hard to revert back.
Does he feel the same?
The logical next step is to try to figure out if the change of heart was one sided. Body language can be a good indicator; however, everything you used to do without second thought becomes more intense, so it’s hard to not read into things. A sign that the attraction is mutual could include an eyelock that lasts too long. Maybe he talks about others girls a lot more than he used to. Physical touch might start to break new barriers and become more frequent.
Should you cross that line?
It’s likely that if you’ve made it this far, you’re getting very mixed signals. He might say you’re just friends and still not act like it. Odds are, your guy friend is just as confused as you are. He might be trying to deny his feelings to himself in fear. However, if you’re meeting up for a glass of wine and cuddling, then maybe it’s time for an honest conversation.
What now?
Don’t try to deny this to yourselves by overthinking it. He might start to make excuses like being too busy with school, and you might start to up your Tinder game to distract yourself, but this kind of relationship is so special. This is a person you already know. You already enjoy their company; you already know the little things about them that makes them light up or brings them down. That’s about 50% of the work of the relationship that has already been done for you.
Give each other a real chance.