If you’re like me, then choosing a significant other is not a simple task. You know what you want, and you’re unwilling to compromise your morals. You’re a little shy when it comes to dating, and the current culture of casual hookups can feel intimidating. However, don’t be disheartened by your lack of experience, embrace it.
As I entered my 20th year of life, I realized that not only have I never had a boyfriend, but I’ve never been close to being in a relationship. Initially, I felt a sense of panic and started wondering if I was going to end up alone, or if I was too ugly to ever be loved. Before I went too far down the rabbit hole, I realized that my lack of dating history is something to be proud of, not embarrassed about.
Growing up, I saw many of my sisters and friends mistreated by men that were never worth their time in the first place. I saw how destructive giving your heart to the wrong person could be, and how it affected the relationships with everyone around them. I constantly wondered why my sisters dated men who were unkind to them, or why my friends dated boys who cheated on them.
Then it hit me. We are the products of our society. Time and time again, women are sent the message that the most important thing about us, is what men think of us. My friends and family were wasting their time with these boys because they didn’t understand their true worth. How could they? Women are repeatedly told through movies, advertisements, and music, that their appearance is what determines their success as a female. Ultimately, if a man likes the way you look, then you have been accepted. From then on, you should compromise your personality and morals, just to keep this acceptance. Society tells us that this approval is what ultimately will deliver females happiness, yet for so many of us, it’s the very thing keeping us from happiness.
So how do we use this information moving forward? It is important that we as women, act as support systems for each other. Women will never realize their worth, without being empowered, time and time again, to show their strengths. We need to help women see that any man who mistreats them isn’t worth their time. We need to help women see that their appearance is not the most important thing about them.
While examining the way society has pushed so many women into toxic relationships, I found confidence in my lack of dating experience. I have realized that I truly don’t care what random men think of me, no matter how good looking they might be. I have realized that I am a wonderful woman, who brings light to the lives of others. I deserve a man who will help me shine even brighter. Most importantly, I have realized that I am comfortable enough with myself to feel confident in the fact that I have never had a boyfriend. Through my confidence, I have been granted happiness. This happiness allows me to look goofy while dancing at parties, enables me to eat lots of sugar and not worry about the calories, empowers me to uplift the people around me.
Instead of feeling depressed or lonely because you don’t have a boyfriend, I challenge you to examine the romantic relationships you have had in the past. I want you to contemplate if the message of idealizing beauty has seeped into your mind, and to find out all of the wonderful things about yourself, which have been hiding behind your insecurities. Ultimately, empower yourself, empower other women, and enjoy the wait.