The boxes, bins, and suitcases were piled at the foot of the steps, but I still didn’t feel ready. For many high school seniors, the thing they are most scared of when leaving for college is the thought of not being surrounded by their family every day. Whatever that “family” may look like, many people struggle with leaving their families behind when setting off on their new life without them right by their side. This thought may bring lots of anxiety, fears, and doubts to your mind, but as long as you maintain regular contact and find things to keep you occupied, the distance can actually be very beneficial to your relationship with them.
The months, weeks, and days leading up to moving to West Chester University were filled with endless worries about leaving my family and friends and missing out on everything they were doing. It was something that ate me alive continuously, and it almost caused me to drop out before even leaving! I only pictured what they would be experiencing without me, and not what I could experience without them. My dad sat me down a few days before I left, when I was really struggling mentally about leaving. I was crying constantly throughout the day, and I couldn’t picture myself being a college student. He told me something that his military base leader told him when he was struggling with being away from his family at boot camp. In summary, he said that everyone at home won’t change; they are not going through any life-changing events like I am. I’m the only one who’s going to change, which is a great thing, and when I go home for the first time, I’ll realize this. These words of wisdom changed my mindset drastically. I had a realization that though my family is going to be doing fun things without me, I’m going to be doing fun things without them, and that’s life. You have to be able to grow and change, and you can’t lock yourself in a bubble of the same things because then you won’t go anywhere.
I will admit it was hard at first. That first night alone with a new roommate and not having my parents right across the hall brought lots of nerves, but before I knew it, I had been on campus for almost four weeks and I had already grown so much. I went home once during that time, and though it was strange and I felt weird having to leave again, it only proved to me that leaving was the right thing to do. My relationships with my mom, dad, brothers, and grandma all improved. I got along with my mom better than I did when I was home, and my brothers and I had even more to bond about while being farther away. I think that part of why I feel so much closer to them is because I’m purposely reaching out to them and asking questions about their lives that I normally wouldn’t when I’m at home physically with them. We all learned so much more about each other throughout this experience. The distance only brought us closer, which I never imagined I would say.Â
I made sure to also keep myself extremely busy. Whenever there was an event happening on campus, especially during the first week, me and my friends would make it a priority to go. My roommate and I would also try to find something fun to do on the weekends when we didn’t have class to keep us from getting bored and wanting to go home. Both of these small tasks definitely helped me keep my mind off of what was going on back at home. My biggest advice would be just to keep yourself busy and reach out if you need help, most times your family is only a phone call or text message away.Â
The best thing I did for myself was leave for college. I have grown so much and experienced so many new things. Looking back at myself a month ago, I wish I could tell her how much closer I have felt to my family, even being two hours away. Though leaving everything you know behind might seem like one of the hardest things to do (like it did for me), it will end up being the most beneficial experience in your life.Â
