Society has collectively told women, decade after decade, that aging is bad. That it’s better to look youthful and younger than you actually are. That the years of experience and growth that women have lived should be eliminated. There is a higher bar set for women to appear younger and beautiful, which diminishes the true privilege of growing older. In a world where the culture of our society tells us that losing our youth is losing value, I say the opposite. What society has failed to understand is this: aging IS beautiful.
the role of media and advertising
Women have been shamed for centuries—just for growing old. A part of this is the concept that youth and beauty are tied together. Over time, media and advertising have skyrocketed the fear of aging in women. Anti-aging industries and plastic surgery have profited off insecurity. It is not wrong at all for a woman to want to hold onto her youthful looks, but this ideal has come from years of trying to erase signs of old age and growth—which has not been seen through a positive lens. When looking at how society reacts to men vs women aging, women have oftentimes been described as “past her prime,” “washed up,” or “let herself go.” To combat this, women have turned to (expensive) products and habits to erase their aging. On top of this, any woman who uses social media is exposed to an illusion of perfection, which creates an unrealistic standard of “effortless youth.” It leads to trends that value looking young over feeling healthy and confident.
aging anxiety
I have fallen victim already at age 22 to anxiety over aging. I’ve caught myself looking closely at my skin, seeing small signs of wrinkles appearing. However, those wrinkles are the effect of laughing until my mouth muscles hurt, squinting because the sunny day outside is so bright, and days of spending time outside in the sun (with sunblock!) As women, we’re taught to eliminate signs of aging, even when we’re still incredibly young. We subconsciously look for these signs, because it’s something that has been engraved into our brains at a young age. When I look at my mom and my grandmothers, I see years of experiences, growth, and beauty. I have realized that any anxiety I have over aging is only about looks, not health or wellness. Aging anxiety also builds upon the need to “stay relevant”. Oftentimes as women age, they feel invisible. The things on the outside no longer look the same as they once did, and we believe those things are what keeps us relevant. Well, false.
reframing aging as growth, confidence, & wisdom
Despite how the culture of our society has diminished women for aging, growing old does not simply disappear from our lives. It is inevitable for all humans who get this chance. With this, we must reframe how we as women think and talk about ourselves aging. First off, confidence is something that grows with time. The time we spend aging is more time to know ourselves, our bodies, and our minds. More time to understand who, what, and where makes us feel happy. Being in a body for a longer time provides women with a strong sense of self and comfort for the body that has carried us through life. Feeling a sense of gratitude for this reverses the fear of aging. This self-assurance combats insecurity. Another way to reframe this is thinking of experience as a form of power and wisdom. Experiences teach us lessons, helps us grow, and allows us to become more emotionally strong and resilient. This comes with growing old, and cannot be replicated in youth. Lastly, let’s prioritize what truly matters. Shifting values to what makes us happy supports our feeling of purpose and fulfillment. We are never truly fulfilled on the outside—it starts from within.
What a privilege it is to grow old, as not everyone gets this chance. Aging is something to be empowered by, not afraid of. For so long, women have lost confidence and self-assurance just by succumbing to society’s ideals. Reframing this fear as something to be grateful for is, above all, a feeling of empowerment. I can confidently say I am excited to grow old—and for all of the beauty that comes along with aging.