My junior year is finally wrapping up, and I’m feeling all of the feels. While I’m super excited to finally be a senior and get to do all of the senior things—grad pics, bar crawls, and last hoorahs—I’m also scared, and sad. I’m saying goodbye to senior friends already, and it doesn’t feel real yet. It’s hard to imagine myself in their shoes, a year from now. I’ve built a new life for myself here, in a new town. I’ve made new friends, gotten myself a job that I love, made my college house a home, and changed completely as a person. Part of me is scared that I might revert back to who I was before college as soon as it’s over…as unrealistic as I know that really is. Also, the real world is just scary. I just said the other night that it feels like my senior friends are like Barbie in the Greta Gerwig Barbie movie, going to the real world to start their real, human lives, while I stay in Barbieland for one more year. I know my time at college is going to come to a close very soon. It’s undeniable.
I don’t want to feel too sad or too scared. Those emotions are valid, and even helpful, but only in doses. There’s so much joy to be had in this final year, and so much to look forward to beyond it, as well. This summer, I’m on a mission to make sure my friends and I are prepared (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.) to take on our senior year.
For starters, we’re making a senior bucket list. It will include all of the must-do things in our college town that we haven’t done yet, all of the fun senior year activities, all of the memories we made together our freshmen year that we want to try to recreate, maybe even some keepsake arts and crafts opportunities. I’m thinking it’s going to be a pretty extensive list. I also want to take it a step further, to get myself excited about life outside of “Barbieland,” and make myself a 30 before 30 list. This will include all of the crazy things I want to see, do, and accomplish during my 20s. College is, objectively, only a small part of this pivotal decade of our lives. That’s important for all my seniors (and, obviously, scared rising juniors) to remember—your life is just getting started. I want to see the Eiffel Tower at night, write a book, adopt a dog. I’m asking you in the least scary, most exciting way possible: What will you do with the rest of your life?
I’m also planning to prioritize time with my girls this year. I can’t remember what my life was like before them, and I’m so excited to spend one more year seeing them every day. We’re going to have so much fun tackling our bucket list together. Over the summer, I would like to implement a gratitude practice to make sure I am living happily in the moment. I want to be where my feet are this year! But it definitely takes practice, so I’m starting now.
I’m remembering when Barbie (Margot Robbie) says to her creator, “I want to make meaning, not be the thing that’s made.” The only way to do that, to make meaning in the world, is to enter this last chapter and be willing to eventually close it, like all of the chapters that have come before. That gets a little easier to do when I count my blessings here every day and remind myself of all the fun that is to come.