I feel like young women and girls are constantly battling the voices in their head telling them they are certainly not as beautiful as the Kendall Jenners and the Zendayas of the world. As one of these women, I too battle these voices, and they drive me insane.
I have always struggled with insecurities and with feeling comfortable in my own skin. I am a fairly pretty, skinny, curly haired, 5’10’’ brunette who doesn’t quite have the curves or the looks to be considered beautiful. I have always straightened my curls, felt mascara takes me from a 4 to an 8, purchased pants to hide my long legs, and worn sweatshirts that cover my flat butt. Society has created a beauty standard for women, glorifying those who are skinny but still curvy with a snatched waist, medium height, long straight hair, clear skin, a skinny nose, and a lifted face. These standards are often based on the idealized concept of beauty shown in social media, tv, advertising, and on the red carpet. They create unrealistic standards and expectations for young women to fulfill and live up to. They have created a culture where young women are so focused on how they appear on the outside rather than who they are as a person.
But what if we started a beauty revolution and took back our definition of beauty? What if beauty was defined by the size of our hearts and the way we treat other people? When we stop obsessing over how imperfect our faces or our bodies are, we are free to explore and be our authentically beautiful selves. We can then embrace and recognize our unique qualities that make us who we are and reject the pressure to live up to society’s standard of beauty.
Of course, this beauty revolution is not as simple as I am making it seem. We can read about this revolution and want to change it as much as we want, but until we actually take it upon ourselves to do so, the idea of beauty will never change. Once we completely accept the idea that true beauty is so much more than a vogue magazine appearance, there are ways to start our own internal revolutions. If each of us retrains our idea of beauty, maybe one day girls won’t be criticized for their weight, their skinny legs, bony butts, messy hair, big noses, or how much they do or do not eat.
Here are some ideas that helped me begin my own beauty revolution:
Love those around you
Think about the people in your life that you love. This may be your best friend, significant other, parents, siblings, or someone you look up to. These people are most likely not considered to be society’s version of beautiful, but they are beautiful to you, aren’t they?
It may be their smile, laugh, sense of humor, compassion towards others, their drive, support, or their hugs that are significant to you. All of these people who you see as beautiful are not beautiful because of their appearance; although they might also be nice to look at. To you, they are beautiful because of their inner beauty.
You consider them to be beautiful and they see you the same way. Remind yourself that the people most important to you think you are beautiful. Remember that they don’t see you this way for no reason. You are beautiful to them so allow that to sink in and try to believe it yourself.
Take care of yourself
As I have gotten older, I have come to value my body so much more. Not in the way that you would think, but it has become so much more important to me to take care of myself. Not only do I feel better, but I have realized how much more beautiful I feel when I am taking care of myself. Especially as a college athlete, I have realized how important it is to get sleep, eat well, have good hygiene, and do what I need to do to feel comfortable in my own skin.
When we start to feel disconnected from our true beauty and despise how we may look on the outside, we neglect and mistreat our bodies, deepening our insecurities and feelings of discomfort in our skin. Treating your body with love and care allows you to feel that way about yourself too. Feeling clean and healthy mentally and physically allows you to recognize your true inner and outer beauty.
Self-affirmations
All over TikTok, I see videos of moms and dads getting their daughters ready in the morning and doing small self-affirmations with them. I always thought this idea was so brilliant, and you know I will be doing this with my future children. Especially in today’s society, setting young girls up to love themselves and their bodies is truly setting them off on the right foot for their future. Even though my parents never did this with me, and yours may not have either, it is never too late to remind yourself how beautiful you are!
This is an exercise I found, and I really love. For a few minutes, mentally step outside of yourself and pretend you are the person who knows you best. This may be your mom, your dad, your sibling, or your best friend. From the perspective of this person, write down a list of your personality traits, habits, qualities, and skills that you think are beautiful. Don’t allow the voices in your head to intrude on this list.
Then, still in the perspective of this person, write down a list of your physical traits that are beautiful. This may be the color of your eyes, the color of your skin, your smile, your nose shape, the shape of your hair, or the curve of your waist.
Keep this list in your bathroom, by your bed, on your dresser, or by a mirror; keep it somewhere nearby where you often feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Anytime you feel this way, read the list and remember all of the ways you are beautiful inside and out.
In the last few years, I have tried to change the way I see myself and refrain from dwelling on my appearance. I still do my makeup, eat healthy, exercise, and wear cute clothes, but I try not to compare my appearance to that of other people. Instead, I focus on what makes me the person I am. I try to focus on my compassion for the people around me, my drive to be a better person, the way I treat other people, the joy I experience in everyday life, my quirky sense of humor, and my passion to make the world a better place. I have begun to cherish my inner beauty when I am being my authentic, true self. Allow yourself to notice how beautiful you truly are, and in doing so, you will be a beacon of light to everyone you come in contact with.