It’s rare to have a show centering women, written for women, without also centering men or relationships with men as a main plot point. Dance Moms has played a pivotal role in shaping many young girls’ viewpoints on what it means to be strong in your feminism, especially in the role of a dancer. Oftentimes, male dancers are incorporated into choreography to assist their female partners in lifts and to enhance the dynamics of the dance. This is not to say that male partners make or break the dance—rather, quite the opposite.
Male dance partners are to be an extension of the female partner’s talent and skill set, and it’s incredibly refreshing to have a woman as the center of attention for audiences. Nonetheless, by incorporating the aid of a man’s skill set or strength, this opens up the door for the man to say “I did that, I did that!” if the dance scores well. It opens up the same tired conversation of men claiming that women “couldn’t have done it without them.” Whether the man is there or not makes no difference on how well a woman can perform overall. The very point of a male dancer is to accentuate the female partner’s skills. The man assisting in lifts certainly adds depth to the dance, but even without a man there at all, the dance can still be incredibly graceful and intricate. It’s an important reminder to all dancers, and all women in general, that for every great accomplishment, there will be a man trying to take your credit, and it is very important to not let that happen.
In Season 6, Episode 1, “New Season, New Rules,” Abby Lee Miller, head dance teacher at Abby Lee Dance Company LA, announces that new dancer, Brynn Rumfallo, will be competing a solo that weekend against a male dancer. Brynn’s mom, Ashlee Rumfallo, expresses her nerves and anxieties for Brynn to go directly up against a male dancer. All of the dance moms discuss how boys in dance are typically given a leg up from judges as a way to encourage them to stay in competitive dance. Dance mom Melissa Gisoni recounts that Abby Lee Miller often calls these unfair advantages “penis points,” directly calling out the unfair advantages that boys are often given. Men are almost always given higher praise for athletic accomplishments as well as a higher opportunity to succeed. Does anyone remember what happened when both the men and women U.S. hockey teams won gold medals in the 2026 Winter Olympics, yet only one was publicly congratulated by the president? The blatant advantages men have across most sports are obvious and have been universally accepted over the years, despite the glaring tone of sexism. Some argue this is because sports are more “manly,” and that boys are simply more athletic than women, and even though it is an incredibly biased and sexist argument, it is a common argument nonetheless. If we follow that same mentality, dance is a generally female-dominated sport, so women should be judged just the same against men in dance as they are in every other sport. Yet, even in one of the few sports that women are the mass majority of athletes, we find that there is simply just no choice but to give the disadvantaged (men)a leg up. Judges are compelled to give boys unfair boosts in scoring so as to not hurt their ego and convince them to continue to dance competitively. Not because they love it, but because they’re winning.
In Season 1, Episode 11, “It All Ends Here,” the girls gear up for their national dance competition, the biggest competition of the year. Dance mom Melissa is absent from the competition, leaving her two daughters, Maddie and Mackenzie Ziegler, under the care of their dance teacher and the other moms. Their dad, Kurt, shows up unexpectedly to the competition as Maddie is getting ready to go onstage for a solo, duet, and group dance. As Kurt enters the dressing room, the energy in the room seems to shift. Maddie is obviously uncomfortable, telling the other dance teacher that he makes her nervous after asking her dad to leave. While getting ready for their group dance, Abby comes into the dressing room to find Kurt talking to Maddie and immediately pulls him out of the room.
Instead of thinking about how his daughter is being affected by him being there, Kurt’s sole focus is on how his actions are making him look better as a dad. There are more appropriate times and places for Kurt to be a great dad and help his daughters; taking advantage of a moment where Maddie is getting herself ready and focused is incredibly selfish. He doesn’t step back to realize that he’s making the situation more overwhelming because he’s absorbed in trying to look good for the camera rather than taking Maddie’s feelings into account. When Abby mentions Kurt’s “pep talks” in which he gives pointless and confusing advice because he feels entitled to do so, it directly calls out the exact arrogance and presumptuousness that could set feminism back. Men typically think that they automatically have the right and the authority to give their opinion on something, even when it isn’t warranted.
Dance Moms is an incredibly feminist-facing show that promotes feminism by acknowledging and striking back against the disadvantages in competitive dancing and not allowing the girls’ success to be at the hands of a man. Dance Moms is an incredibly vulnerable, captivating show that displays the good, the bad, and the ugly of a dancer’s life all while producing entertaining content. This show makes me laugh, makes me cry, and most importantly, it makes me proud to be a feminist.