I have always felt that I was behind in life. This was because I was not the top of my class, I was looked down upon academically, and told that my major choice would get me nowhere in life. I was told by my peers and teachers that being a Communication Studies major was for people who didn’t know what they were doing in life and for those who only come to school to party. I never felt that I was meeting the quotas that those around me were meeting. I wasn’t getting internships early enough despite the several I applied to. I only had one part time job compared to those who have two or three. I never was granted the scholarships I applied for. I wasn’t achieving the accomplishments of my peers, so, I felt unmotivated due to feelings of inadequacy. As humans, we naturally compare ourselves to others, even though we try so hard not to. What I have been trying to tell myself is that life is not a race. There is no need to rush. There are no specific deadlines of when I need to achieve my first academic award or get my first job.Â
I tell myself that life is not a race. I repeat it as many times as I can until I believe it. I sometimes feel that I have missed every invisible checkpoint that everyone else around me has reached. There has always been pressure to meet certain milestones, especially in college. Everyone around me is getting new jobs, meeting new people, getting internships, and much more. It is expected of students to do as much as you can before your college journey ends. I’ve been told that college comes and goes quickly, so I have to take advantage of all opportunities. This is true, however, I find myself feeling overwhelmed to live up to this sentiment. It is a struggle to stand out while thousands of students are going after the same degree I am and competing against the same goals. I feel that I am not doing nearly as much as what is expected of me. These feelings are completely valid and okay to feel, however, they are holding me back from achieving my full potential.Â
The idea of a “right timeline” is bizarre. Every single person is on different paths in life. Life unfolds for everyone differently. Comparison is a cruel way to have life dictated by. Perhaps the real challenge in life isn’t catching up but accepting that I am not actually behind in my journey. That is because my journey is just as valid as those that surround me. I have had plenty of classes with students who are not in their twenties, but rather in their thirties and forties. These students are just like myself, as we are experiencing our own journeys. They are not late in life or behind. Life isn’t about racing to the imaginary finish line, but learning to find peace in the challenges and milestones that I have achieved and look forward to achieving.
The beauty in life is not looking down upon myself. It’s not comparing myself to others, but rather the memories and experiences that I have collected along the way. The achievements I have reached. The goals I have hit. Life is not a race, and I am trying to remember that each day.