I don’t know exactly when complimenting strangers became intimidating for me. Maybe it’s the fear of coming off awkward. Maybe it’s the unspoken rule that we’re all supposed to mind our business, keep our headphones on, & keep our eyes forward. Either way, I decided to challenge myself to start complimenting people on campus for the week. I struggled not to back out of this and tried not to overthink. I feel that this experience opened my eyes to the bright and open culture that West Chester University and the local community cultivate.
Confronting my Insecurities
Going into this, I knew I was going to feel a little uncomfortable, but I truly didn’t anticipate how much I would have to challenge myself. Every time I had thought about saying something, there was hesitation on my end. Not because I didn’t want to or because I felt like my compliments were disingenuous, but because I found myself overanalyzing everything: How will this sound? Am I bothering them?
These thoughts made me realize how much of my day is spent filtering myself and adjusting how I interact with peers, friends, managers, and professors. Even when I did share a compliment, I would replay it in my head and pick apart the interaction. This made me realize that the discomfort wasn’t caused by other people, but it was coming from how aware of myself I was within interactions.
Throughout the week, my overthinking started to quiet down, but it didn’t happen overnight. I approached these compliments with less concern about the “what ifs”. Instead, I focused more on how the conversation would make me feel more connected with those around me and spread positivity. I felt present within these interactions and focused on existing in the moment.
Shift in my Perspective
As the days went on, I noticed that I wasn’t just trying to step out of my comfort zone and spread positivity, but I was feeling more confident in myself. I was less guarded, more aware of my surroundings, and more open to connecting with people not in my immediate social circle. I started paying attention to things that I normally wouldn’t, such as noticing little moments that I would usually pass by without thinking. This experience made me realize just how often I move through my day feeling disconnected, and now that I am opening myself up and being present, I am discovering new things!
This isn’t to say that there aren’t moments where I feel awkward or uncomfortable interacting with new people. I still have moments where I hesitate or question myself. The difference is that now I try not to let these feelings limit me. I see discomfort differently now. I view it as a hurdle, and the more I do it, the easier and more natural it becomes.
Take Away
This experience didn’t just change how I interact with people within the campus community, but it also helped me further understand myself. I realized how freeing it is when I stop overanalyzing things and live in the moment. I also found it easier to create connections with others when I am not stuck in my head. But maybe most importantly, I learned how to push the boundaries of my comfort zone and challenge myself to do something that truly matters to me.
What started as a small challenge ended up being more about relearning how to connect with those around me. I also unlearned a lot of the social barriers that I had put up. I unlearned the need to be perfect, the fear of being perceived, and the habit of staying quiet to try to avoid discomfort. While I am still working on these aspects of my social life, this experience made me realize that these things don’t control me in the same way anymore.