I speak for myself and for others around me when I say that feeling guilty for doing things for YOURSELF is often a norm. Feeling guilty, or even selfish is one of the worst feelings in the world. There is so much around guilt, and it holds so much weight on us. But why? In my “2024 in’s and out’s” journal, I wrote, in all caps, “STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR DOING YOU”. I will say that didn’t quite work. I had to restructure my mind. I had to ask myself, why am I doing this to myself? Why do I feel guilty for sleeping in? Why do I feel guilty for canceling plans? Why do I feel guilty putting off my homework?
In a time where the concept of being productive is at an all time high, we can often feel that we are lazy for taking time to relax and unwind. Though TikTok is fun to explore trends and follow influencers, what we see of people being productive can make us feel crappy. As college students, there seems to be a standard that we need to uphold. We must always be working, studying, and keeping up with friendships and relationships, while also practicing self care. TikTok tells us that self care is taking an everything shower, cleaning your room, doing your laundry, finishing all your homework and being in bed by 9pm with a book. It doesn’t need to be perfect like that! Your self care can be simply laying on your bed for a little while and taking a nap to reset!
I will be honest—self care can be difficult sometimes. Sometimes you don’t feel like doing anything, and then you contemplate if you’re doing something wrong or not being good to yourself. On the other hand, you pamper yourself and do things for yourself but feel guilty or selfish. I am here to tell you that it is straight nonsense. We feel that we should always be doing something because that’s the message we are told. Nope. That’s okay!
Sometimes I beat myself up if I just want to stay at home instead of going out, or pushing my homework back to the last minute because I am not ready to do it at the moment. THAT is self care. Doing things when you’re ready and feeling good to do it is when you’ll enjoy it the most, so take the night off!
Here’s the thing—we cannot possibly be selfish for taking care of ourselves, or relaxing. Sometimes it is necessary to just do nothing in the midst of a busy, always moving world. When you realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself is whatever you want, it’ll feel impossible to have a sense of guilt or selfishness. You’re not hurting anyone by choosing yourself.