Boys may come and boys may go, but friends are there forever, right?
Although I believe many friendships last longer than romantic relationships in your 20s, that doesn’t mean some friendships don’t fall apart, either. For some, it’s a slow slipping away, talking less and less; meanwhile, for others, it’s a crashing, burning flame that suffocates everything in its wake. Despite experiencing both at different points in my college life, I’m not sure which one is worse. However, what I can say for sure is that friend breakups shatter your heart differently than a romantic relationship does. With relationships, most people are prepared for an eventual expiration date, but with friendships, there’s an expectation that you’ll watch each other get married and grow old, still cracking the same jokes with each other when you’re 80 years old.
There’s a quote I read that perfectly encapsulates the feeling of watching a friendship disintegrate before your eyes:
“It’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.”
Your friends are the people supporting you through different stages of your growth, acting as a constant presence in your life. Even if the breakup was good for your overall health, it doesn’t mean it won’t hurt when you can no longer dial their number to talk to them. With some friendship breakups I’ve experienced, there’s an instant feeling of relief, of knowing the friendship ended for a reason. Sometimes, as you grow up, you become different people with different values, and that friendship no longer serves a purpose in your life. It’s these times that the breakups are both the easiest and the hardest to come to terms with. The hardest friendships to lose are the ones that contain a multitude of good memories, but there’s an emotional imbalance with one person always supporting and the other taking. It’s hard to reconcile the good times you’ve had together with the person who no longer considers the other’s emotions and feelings. At the end of the day, you’re still losing a person who used to know you like the back of their hand, and that’s painful no matter the context.
If you’re going through or have gone through a friendship breakup lately, just remember that feeling upset is okay, but it’s also not the end of the world. Even if you thought this person would be one of your bridesmaids, it’s important to remember that you still have so much time to forge more friendships, even if they’re different from the last one. It’s important to know your own worth, whether that’s in a friendship or romantic relationship, and this newfound knowledge will lead you to find the right people. The ones who will lift you up when you break, make you laugh through a bad mood, and make you happy to live life every day. Everyone deserves platonic love in their lives, and it’s just a matter of time before you find it.