I miss my school.
I miss my best friend/roommate.
I miss seeing my professors.
I miss seeing people that I don’t know in the store smile at me & I smile back cause that’s what us Southern people do.
I miss going to appearances & having people ask me their long list of questions.
I miss seeing the little kids with their eyes filled & hearts filled with the word impossible.
I miss the first day of my freshman year of college.
I miss the college spring break everyone talked about.
I miss my life.
At about 3 o’clock this morning, while I was taking pictures because I was bored, I realized how severe this pandemic is. I realized that I would never get my freshman year back. I don’t know when I’ll see my friends again or if they’re okay. I don’t know if I’ll spend Easter & my 19th birthday in the house again for another year, but this time it won’t be willingly but because I have to.
I look at my nephew in jealousy because he doesn’t understand what’s going on & I wish I didn’t either. I am scared for him & the older woman with no family who could be in her house crying for help, but no one is there to hear her.
I can tell you to stay inside & do all the precautions, but I can also ask you to pray.
We are living in a time of uncertainty, confusion, & sin. We are struggling to find answers to questions that we don’t fully understand. We are rushing, panicking, when God is simply telling us to rest, wait on me as I have waited on you. Someone came to my front door Saturday evening with gloves, a mask, & a note on it read, “Read Isaiah 26:20.” I looked over it because I saw it already trending on Facebook, but I obeyed. It was the man’s spirit that got me, not the scripture. He was at peace. With everything going on, he was not scared, not worried, but merely taking the recommended precautions and living his life. I long to obtain a relationship with God as he does. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart & he will direct your path.” We say this, but do we believe it?
I miss church, y’all.
I can’t save the world as I wish I could.
I can’t protect my nephew from everyone.
I can’t save the older women crying for help.
I probably can’t go back to my dorm and see my school.
I won’t get my year of service back.
I won’t be able to turn back time and wish this never happened.
All I can do it pray to God the same prayer we all started with.
“Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
And If I die before I wake
I pray the Lord, my soul, to take.”