Dear Spencer,
I haven’t written to you for a long time, but I guess there are still some things I need to tell
you. Right now, you are struggling to find your space in this revolving world and you feel so
alone. You have no idea which major you want to follow and you have no colleges that you
are lining up to attend, but you are working hard for good grades you receive. You have this
constant feeling that things won’t change.
However, they do.
You take a lot of falls, bloody your knees, and gain new bruises, but you come out stronger. You lose your “best friend”
your sophomore year, but someone else steps in and they become your best friend. You
guys will go through so much together, but your bond with them is unique and you love each
other stronger than you love others. You fall for a boy in your sophomore year and you guys
will date three separate times, but it takes you three tries before you realize it won’t work.
You love a girl in your junior year, your first girlfriend, but she breaks your heart in the worst
way. I would tell you to avoid her, but heartbreak teaches us a lot of things about ourselves.
You came out to your grandmother in eighth grade and she didn’t take it well. Sadly, when
you are forced out of the closet again in your junior year, she doesn’t take it any better. You
lose a bunch of “friends”, but newer ones come into your life and a few originals stay, and
they become your family. They have your back, they carry you when you can’t get out of
bed, they listen to your heartbroken rambles, and they love you for who you are inside. You
move out of your grandmother’s in May, after your junior year, and you live with your guy
friend for a while before you relocate to another friend’s. Their family welcomes you with
open arms, they show you how to be stronger and they love you like their own child. You
eventually move back home because your dad gets really sick and stays in and out of the
hospital, you spend countless nights in the hospital waiting room. Your senior year is when
you run into the most emotional issues, but you find a college you love. You fall in love with
a boy, who loves all your quirks, annoying habits, and clinginess. You graduate with Honors
with Distinction and get to walk across your high school’s football field, the last class to do
so. You finish applying to your dream, and only, college in May. Your aunt has a lot to say
about you heading to college, she throws plenty of anger and disappointment your way. You
almost give up chasing your dreams, but your boyfriend encourages you to continue and so,
you do. To your surprise, you get accepted into Wesleyan, and you are given a week to
finish paperwork and packing. You cry a lot during this time, you aren’t ready to tell your
friends goodbye since you would be heading off alone. There is no need to worry though,
you survive everything and become so much stronger. You gain self-love and you discover
more of yourself. You join clubs and even get accepted to become a writer online for
Her Campus. You gain a new friend and you guys click instantly. You go home on the
weekends to spend time with your grandmother, your best friend, and your boyfriend. You
work hard to make plans to see your other friends.
You are doing so much better now. You are happy and recklessly chasing a dream.
So, keep your head up because there is so much pain coming your way, but you will overcome it.
You will mature as a person and you’ll make it.
Don’t give up on dreams so easily.
Sincerely signed,
you from the future
I love you.