For some of us, going home for “vacation” is one of the greatest feelings ever; we’ve just been really stressed out at school and know that going home to our families is exactly what we need to relax. However, it’s not always like that. For some of us, coming to college became a way out of a toxic environment, where school became a space to grow away from that situation. This is great, but it also means that going home for holidays aren’t so great, and doesn’t necessarily feel like a break. Over the Thanksgiving break, I found some coping mechanisms that make home more bearable that I would like to share. Returning to a toxic environment can make it so hard to recover from toxic situations, but sometimes we have no choice in going home. How can we make these circumstances easier on ourselves?
1) Stay distant
When you come home, don’t immerse yourself into whatever is going on if it’s avoidable. Stay out of family arguments and such, because getting involved will only cause you more stress that you don’t need. Find your own space within your home and just remove yourself from unnecessary stress.
2) Leave the house when/if you can
Staying cooped up in a toxic environment can really take a toll on your mental health. When you’re home, try to make plans with friends, or go out for some time away from your home. This will help you feel safe from whatever is going on at home and helps you build a healthy support system as well!
3) Communicate how you’re feeling to your family (if it’s safe to)
It’s not always safe to, but if you can, tell your family what is bothering you. Let them know what your triggers are and what they can do to help avoid them and create a better environment for you. How can someone help you if they don’t know?
4) Find something to distract yourself
If for some reason you aren’t allowed to leave your house, find something that you can do at home that will distract you from your family stress. Read a book, watch TV, or whatever you like to do to decompress. Alone time is important.
5) Remember that this is only temporary
In a few weeks, you’ll be going back to school. This may not fix your situation, but at least you won’t be stuck at home in the midst of it.
It’s hard, honey, I know. But you’ve come so far, nothing can stop you now!