In a moment of self-reflection, I analyzed the way I interact with the people I care about most in my life. I have never been big on affection because it wasn’t something that was common in my family. Hugging, kissing, laying my head on a family members lap, or anything of that nature was something that I was not used to. This is something that I never really noticed until I noticed I became uncomfortable in situations where friends would hug me for too long or caress me a particular way. Platonic love or platonic intimacy is defined as making yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically vulnerable to friends. I didn’t notice until a friend pointed out to me that despite our five-year friendship, I was very closed off, I wasn’t reciprocating the love my friends gave me in the ways that they understood. In short, I have noticed that I am awful with platonic intimacy but I have improved within recent months, and it has helped me in so many ways.
Interpersonal platonic relationships are suffering in this hypersexualized society. Platonic intimacy is often questioned because there is a common misconception that intimacy should be reserved for romantic relationships. This is false. We are taught to not be too emotionally vulnerable. We should practice being more affectionate with all our loved ones, not just our romantic partners. There are a million and one ways to show someone that you love and care about them. One way is being intimate and intimacy comes in different forms. When you allow yourself to open up to the ones you care about, it shows your willingness to be vulnerable. We lean on our friends for a sense of belonging and love that doesn’t necessarily feel forced. We don’t necessarily fear rejection from our friends like we do from romantic lovers. Platonic intimacy that we experience with our friends is special because this kind of love is rare.
Studies have shown that the presence of love in your life is vital for your overall health. To love and feel loved decreases feelings of loneliness and depression. These relationships allow for a much deeper bond and an openness that most romantic relationships do not always offer. We should share more intimate moments with friends and the people around us. There is nothing wrong with telling and showing your people that you love and care for them, or let people know when you’re proud of them. We should kiss, snuggle our friends, hold their hands, and be more emotionally vulnerable. We should get rid of the idea that we have to be physically intimate or attracted to someone to be intimate. Whether you consider your friendships to inhibit platonic intimacy or not, we should celebrate and embrace all friendship. How do you show not just your friends, but the people you love that you care about them? What does intimacy mean to you? Is intimacy part of your everyday life?