When I was in elementary school, around fifth grade to be exact, I had my very first ‘Don’t Touch My Hair’ experience, when a girl in my class decided to come behind me in the lunch line and run her hands through my hair. She was the prettiest girl in my class, all the boys wanted to be around her, and she had the longest, blonde hair I had ever seen. I didn’t understand why she was touching my hair, which was, at the time, done in pigs tails. I’ll admit I was jealous of the blonde girl, and for a long time, I had gotten my hair pressed so that it would be straightened.
I started my natural journey about three years ago, and it has not been easy! Wash N’ Go’s were a no, sometimes twist outs turned out good, and sometimes they turned out bad.
So I would curl my hair using mousses, sometimes gels or oils and roll my hair, and I’d get so many compliments, even though I had manipulated my hair to make the curls. The worst thing I’d have to say about the natural hair community is how one sided everything is. Suddenly loose curls are at the center, while other hair types like 4 a, b, or c is at the back. Deciding to wear your hair natural starts to feel less like a journey and more like a competition, where in order to get the best likes you have to have your hair in the best style. Just checking social media to see pictures of the ‘standard beauty’ feels so draining, and for many weeks now I wanted to cut my hair off so that I could stop feeling pressure to have my hair in the styles that everyone now wants.
It took me a long time in order to find my bearings and to accept my hair for the way it is. Some of my favorite YouTubers explain it like this :
“When it comes to my hair, I got to a point where I was obsessed with Wash N’ Go’s; I felt like that’s what people supported, and I felt like the girls who had the Wash N’ Go, you know who’s hair is always in that perfect Wash N’ Go and had that perfect 2b type 3 curls, I felt like that’s what people gave their attention too.” (Cool Calm Curly)
“I had gained real momentum on social media and it was really overwhelming! I love connecting with people, and I still do but it got to a point where I was living for Instagram, and I became validated and defined for my hair, and I would post pictures of my blonde hair and get lots of comments saying how much they loved my hair. But when it becomes a consistent cycle of people telling you they love your hair, and your hair is beautiful, you then start to question, well, they’re saying my hair is beautiful, but what about me?” (Nia The Light)