If This Body Weren't Mine

TW: Eating Disorders

 

Mirrors are my enemy

Disguised as my best friend,

Looking into its reflection every chance I get

Lifting up my shirt,

Where a glance of my stomach

Starts a battle of too much and not enough

Too much of me,

Not enough worth

 

The words of self-destruction wrapping around me

Like a corset embedded in my waist

Held captive to the calories I’ve just consumed

The love for myself is measured on a scale

Where I find that most of my self-worth has been flushed down a toilet

Rather than existing within me

 

Deceived by a number that could only be worthy

If it was smaller

And smaller

And smaller

It’s hard to find self-worth

When there isn’t much of yourself to love

But what is self-love?

Because when I look at this body

I realize that I would love it

If it weren’t mine