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Coming to Terms with being Grey-Asexual

Parker Howell Student Contributor, Wells College
Wells Contributor Student Contributor, Wells College
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wells chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

This past week has been very hard for me because I’ve been struggling to figure out who I am. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered a whole new sexuality called Grey-Asexuality and finally found a label that truly expressed how I’ve been feeling all my life.

 

Grey-Asexuality is on the spectrum of Asexuality but being Grey-Asexual means that I’m somewhere in between being sexual and asexual (not being sexual or desiring sex at all).

 

Grey-Asexuality or Grey-A is when a person rarely experiences sexual attraction or they want to act on it, meaning I could experience sexual attraction but not want to act on it. 

 

Finally understanding that I was Grey-A, and have been most of my life, was hard for me. I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for over six years now and he’s a sexual being but I was never up to that level of being sexual. Sometimes yes, I would love to have that kind of intimate sex with him but, mostly, snuggling is best for me.

 

I’m thankful to have a partner who understands how I feel and won’t pressure me into having unwanted sex. But, it’s hard after being one way for over six years. I discovered a part of myself that I was denying for so long and it’s finally making me feel better about my emotions when it comes to sex.

 

I know labels shouldn’t be the “be all, end all” when it comes to expressing yourself, but it really helped me in this circumstance. I’m understanding myself in a way I haven’t before and I can breathe knowing that I don’t have to be the sexualized being that I was trying to make myself all my life. 

 

Having sex is okay. Not having sex is okay. It just took me twenty-one years to figure this out; I hope it doesn’t take you as long.

 

My name is Parker Howell. I love to spend my time writing (mostly poetry) and cuddling with my cat when he's not biting me. I'm majoring in Creative Writing at Wells College so writing is a major influence in my life. I love cacti, corgis, and chai tea.
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