Trigger Warning: mention of emotional abuse
I’ve been feeling very emotional when thinking about home lately. My family life is not the best and has always been tumultuous. Although, over the summer, I built a stronger bond with my family, specifically my parents. I’m always jealous of those close to their families or have their mothers as their best friends. It could never be my family and me, but I think I’ve accepted that because if I don’t, I’ll be in existential worry about whether my family loves me or not. The journey of healing from emotional abuse is hard, but it is possible, and I’m glad that my parents have finally made the step of actually taking care of their child. Of course, without that, there is just no growth, no healing, but the healing can be within and on your own.
In my first year here, I never knew what it meant to be homesick while being in college, but now I know, and it isn’t a pleasant feeling. Being in a different environment can be scary and anxiety-ridden, but it can also be a clean slate. While acknowledging that you enjoy home and it’s a special place, allow for growth and allow yourself to find multiple homes. Being homesick is normal and is a part of moving forward while also being a part of growth and healing. The reason why you are homesick is that you care, and that’s completely valid. Of course, you also have to acknowledge that despite loving your family, you still have to make those boundaries clear and take care of yourself and stand up for yourself if they do cross the line. Reminding yourself that you are your own person and worthy of a life outside of your family is important to the journey of growing up.