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From Boyfriends to Girlfriends: A few tips on how to strengthen your relationship by focusing on yourself and your friendships

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Wellesley chapter.

So, you’ve been with the same guy for a while and realize that you are falling into a routine. You know you see him twice a week, and that you will usually spend the weekends together. He calls you every night like clockwork, and the majority of time spent with your friends happens before sunset because he is your go-to date.  I know that this scenario does not apply to everyone, but if it applies to you, listen up!

No matter how much you love someone, you always have to make sure that you are making time for yourself and for your girlfriends. Without that time spent away from your significant other, you begin you take them for granted and overlook the little things that used to keep things new and exciting. And so, the following few points will help you strengthen your relationship by focusing on yourself and your friendships:

1.     Firstly, if you find yourself seeing your significant other at the same time of the week every week, switch it up! Move some things around and get together at a different time, be spontaneous and surprise him with a visit, that way you are not each others’ “Tuesday and Friday.”

2.     Secondly, if you notice that you are scheduling your appointments and time with your friends around your significant other in order to not lose out on the usual amount of time spent together, don’t! You can still love and spend time with someone while honoring your own commitments. Sure, snuggling may sound more fun than a weekly e-board meeting, or a friends’ presentation on the mating habits of bees, but know that all are equally as important and that he will understand if you need to take care of your own agenda before your joint agenda on occasion.

3.     Thirdly, make a few Friday/Saturday nights of the month, “girl’s night out.” Take this time to put boys aside and enjoy each other’s company. Try new restaurants, treat yourself to a SPA day, or just stay in and talk until 3am. This way, you are increasing the bond with your friends, and as a result, your time with your significant other remains exciting and novel and not ordinary and habitual.

4.     Lastly, take time out of your busy schedule to go for a walk or do something that you really enjoy doing and can do by yourself. Periodically putting yourself first is always a good thing so that you can be the best person you can be around others.

Making it a point to incorporate the above suggestions will help start you on the track towards building great bonds with yourself and with friends, and allowing you to keep your romantic relationship fun and fresh!
Get excited and good luck!

Katie is a sophomore at Wellesley College majoring in Biological Sciences. In 2008 she attended J Camp, a journalism program sponsored by the Asian American Journalists Association, and in 2009 she received an Arizona Scholastic Journalist Award for Newspaper as the Editor-in-Chief of her high school paper. Someday she hopes to be a medical reporter. The Arizona native is still adjusting to frigid Massachusetts, but likes to be able to experience the phenomenon that is snow. She enjoys spending her free time volunteering and looks forward to returning home to play with her two German Shepherds.