“OMG, how do you have so many girl friends? I only hang out with guys; girls just produce so much drama — I could never.”
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that phrase come out of a girl’s mouth, I could pay off my OSAP loans.
When people say things along those lines, they are projecting their internalized misogyny. Think about why you feel the need to say girls cause more drama. That’s just a stereotype fed to you by society. The truth is, you just want to stand out from other girls. You want to show the guys that you’re not into “girly” things. You’re just “one of the guys”. But despite how cool you think you are, you’re not.
Regardless of gender, your friends shouldn’t be causing you stress. They shouldn’t be adding drama into your life. If they do, it’s time to drop them. I’m here to say that you do not have to let anyone that doesn’t contribute to your peace and happiness into your life in any sort of way.
Although friendships have more to do with how you vibe with someone rather than their gender, let me tell you why I still think you should have a group of girl friends. Having had both a group of guy friends and a group of girl friends, the idea that the latter is worse is a myth. If I had to pick only one, I’d pick my girls without a second thought.
As a girl, it’s easier to share health-related issues with other girls because they understand where you’re coming from since you’re built the same. If I were to complain about period cramps to my girls, they’d give me a list of things to do or eat to help relieve the pain. Most importantly, girls would not blame your period if you’re acting a little more emotional than usual. You can all mutually agree that’s the reason, but it won’t come as an accusation.
Additionally, guys don’t care that much about the same things girls do. If I were to get ready to go out, I’d send 50 pictures of my outfit choices, hair, and makeup to my girls to get their approval, but I wouldn’t do that with my guy friends. I just don’t trust their judgment that much; the only thing they’d say is everything looks ugly or everything looks good. Whereas my girls would annotate each outfit until we find the one I look best in.
Finally, girls give the best advice. I’m tired of people saying girls are emotional as if it’s a bad thing. It’s a good thing, because they consider others’ feelings before speaking. When giving advice, girls think about the other person’s well-being, and are able to empathize in order to solve whatever problem is causing them emotional distress.
At the end of the day, there are plenty of guys that could easily do the same things as your girl friends. That’s why friendship always comes down to each person on an individual basis. This was just a PSA that a group of girl friends does not equate to a dramatic, toxic friend group. It’s mostly just filled with watching Jane the Virgin and crying in each other’s cars.