I’m a 21-year-old full-time online university student in the last term of my degree, and I spend most of my time alone. In the midst of a global pandemic, there isn’t exactly a roaring social scene (thankfully) in Waterloo so my habits of spending time alone are encouraged. There is no party invite for me to decline, no on-campus study session for me to deke out of early, and, unfortunately, no late-night hangout sessions with my best friends. Meaning, I have become my own bestie and not gonna lie, I’m kind of killing it.
So, here are my tips on how to get over the fear of being by yourself. Coming from someone who genuinely enjoys time alone and does it a lot – you can trust me, I think I’m doing just fine…
- Don’t make it sad if it doesn’t have to be.
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I learned early on in my undergraduate experience that I don’t need to make spending time by myself sad – it’s really not that big a deal. In actuality, I think it’s so normal and sometimes for the best – especially right now when staying home and not seeing people outside of our households is what is being asked of us.
- Do things that make you feel like you’re around people.
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When you’re alone but feeling like you need some interaction, do things that feel social. I like to watch Youtube videos where vloggers take me through their day and in a way, I feel included. Lots of videos, movies, and TV shows feel conversational, so tune in to something that gives off the same energy as being around people.
- Find tasks that are meaningful!
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When people reflect on memories, they often talk about events, get togethers, and trips – with other people. So it’s hard to feel like you are making core memories if your daily life seems simple and lonesome. I like to remember a book I read, a TV series I really enjoyed, or even something that I worked on alone over a period of time. These reminders help to make it feel like I’m still growing without necessarily having everything I do (and deem memorable) involve other people.
- Don’t always associate being alone with being lonely.
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You can be in a relationship, surrounded by friends, or walking along a busy street and still feel lonely. Being alone doesn’t have to mean you’re lonely and isolated – it can be fun!
- Remember that you’re just living your life…
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If you wake up in the morning and have a shower, make some coffee, and get ready for the day, you wouldn’t categorize those activities as things you did alone. They were just things…that you did. Lose the worry that doing something independently means being alone. Just focus on what you actually did rather than stressing about if it was a solo task or not.
So… does it seem like I just do school, work, and watch movies all night by myself or what? Well I do and I am totally comfortable in my independent lifestyle! If you are at home right now due to the pandemic and are spending a little more time alone than usual, don’t fret. Remember that solitude does not have to equal sadness!