It’s that time of year again. Say goodbye to your cute little tank tops, your Nike slides, and your sun-kissed skin, and get ready for overstuffed parkas, heavy boots, and a disappearing sun. Like most people, I’m a huge fan of summer, and all the warmth and happiness that comes with it – that means I absolutely hate winter. So, this year, in my books, winter is cancelled.
You see, Canadian winters aren’t the friendliest. Each year, I wish I could go somewhere tropical and wait out the rest of the season. Every winter, I suffer from triple-checking the time when I glance outside the window because I’m convinced it’s eleven P.M, when it’s really just after five o’clock. I continually, barely dodge the bullet of frostbite. I, too, crave hibernation. At this point, I’m convinced the only good things about winter are white Christmases and hot chocolate. While those might be great, the cons beat out the pros.
I know what you’re thinking: we get it, winter’s cold and dark; that’s why most people don’t like it. Obviously, the weather and gloom aren’t giving any bonus points. That’s not what I’m complaining about (although those are very strong reasons on their own). There are so many more reasons why winter is the absolute worst season.
Here’s why I’m cancelling winter this year:
- Shovelling
Backaches. Sore muscles. Frozen toes and fingers. Need I say more? I’m not opposed to the occasional workout, but there’s honestly nothing worse than shovelling. The snow is always super heavy, and I somehow end up in pain the next day. Since I’m not lucky enough to have a snowblower, I have to suffer through weekly shovelling duty all winter, so this one’s at the top of my list.
- Extreme wardrobe changes
This one’s subjective — I know some people live for cozy sweaters. I love my sweaters too, but that’s why we have fall. Winter wardrobes are the worst because they’re so much harder to coordinate. In the summer, I throw on a pair of shorts and a tank top and call it a day. When it’s cold out, I have to decide what’s appropriate and cohesive. Do I want to wear my frumpy sweatpants to school because it’s so cold out I might have to, or should I wear my super thin leggings because they look a little nicer? Should I only wear my thick wool sweater, or should I wear layers underneath since it’s cold, and risk melting later in class? Do these even go together? Maybe I’m just a bad shopper, but you have to admit it’s easier to put an outfit together when it’s warm out. Don’t forget about the chunky winter boots and thick jackets, because those are awful too. I’m just not a fan of the intense wardrobe change that winter demands, and I’m happier in my slides and sunnies.
- Here come the germs
One of the worst parts about winter is that everyone tends to get sick around the same time, and then those germs basically circulate amongst groups of people for the following six months. Just think about all the germs. Sadly, my immune system is not my best friend, so I catch a cold at least once a month in the winter, too. As a recurring victim, I have to say: all the coughing and sniffles passing from one person to the next — it’s pretty gross, and I’m no longer here for it.
- The ultimate safety hazard
How many people do you know that fall and hurt themselves every year because they slipped on ice? How many times has your vehicle slid around a corner because of crappy roads? Some might call this negligence — the failure of cities to salt their sidewalks and clear the streets — but I’m blaming ruthless, old winter. I’m terrified of driving in snowy weather because of black ice and frozen roads, and walking around town isn’t always the safest, either.
My passionate dislike for winter runs deep, as you can tell. So, I’m cancelling winter, and I’ll be hibernating for the season (AKA not leaving my house). See you in the spring