Hi, my name is Abby and I’m currently a 1st-year student at the University of Waterloo. Recently, I have been doing some reflecting on the things I have learned over quarantine and beyond. Over the past few years, I have changed into a completely new person thanks to various experiences I was lucky to have. So, I thought I would share a few of the lessons I have learned in my life so far, in the hopes that you’ll be able to relate or pick up some advice along the way. But remember, I’m only 18 — who knows what I’ll learn as I continue growing.
- Keep an open mind to new experiences.
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Raise your hand if you have an irrational fear of stepping out of your comfort zone. *Hand shoots up*. Ever since I was little, I was “that kid” — the one who wouldn’t try the scary roller coasters and would instead ride the merry-go-round over and over again (Parenthood reference!). I lived in a safety bubble for too long, and after venturing out of said bubble over these past few years, I have learned how much I was missing out on. I will tell you this: it is scary. If you’re anything like me, you may question your decision to push yourself at first, but you will soon learn that change often comes with a bit of discomfort.
- Be confident in your own actions and beliefs.
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Too many times, I have let others push me around and minimize my feelings. And it took me a long time to learn that living life just to please others is not living a full life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s especially important to be caring, but when someone tells you that your beliefs and emotions are invalid, it’s time to put your foot down. Stay true to who you are; nobody else can define your worth.
- Stepping out of your comfort zone is best done alone.
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Let me be blunt: I learned this lesson the hard way in high school. But it was only when I had a pretty scarring experience that I realized that I would be better off going about new experiences by myself. Exploring new territory alone in the future would allow me to grow without any complications of the past interfering. I took this lesson into consideration when applying to university. I could have gone to the university where all my high school friends went, and I could have stayed alongside them for another four years; I probably would have enjoyed the comfort of that. However, stepping out of my comfort zone by attending a different university and joining residence knowing a whopping zero people ended up shaping me into a new person.
- Stop beating yourself up — all humans make mistakes.
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Along with finding my comfort zone especially comfortable, I am also notoriously hard on myself. I resemble the textbook definition of a perfectionist: never stopping until my work is flawless, and letting each misstep from perfection diminish my confidence. I have never been able to just shrug off a mistake I made or a task I failed, and I know it may take a while before I will be able to do so. But I can clearly remember the moment I realized my perfectionism was out of control: I was sitting in my car, bawling my eyes out after failing my driver’s test. I convinced myself that I was a failure just because of one bad parallel parking job (don’t worry, I’m an expert now). But news flash: everyone flubs up sometimes, and it’s only through learning from these mistakes that we can grow. I’ll let the lyrics to my favourite song, It’s Alright by Mother Mother, do the talking: “It’s alright, it’s ok / you’re not a monster, just a human, and you’ve made a few mistakes.”
- Be the bigger person in every situation.
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Unfortunately, I have encountered my fair share of disagreements with others; what girl hasn’t experienced a good ol’ catfight? It’s easy to want to tell the other person off or even get violent, but in the vast majority of cases, it is better to act less like a teenager and more like an adult. However, there is a major difference between being the bigger person and letting the other person walk all over you; you can still be angry yet composed, civil and keep your head held high. It’s better to walk away leaving the person who hurt you feeling immature and as if they can’t touch you.
- Embrace those who are different from you; diversity is a blessing.
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Sure, being alongside those who share your beliefs and have similar pasts to you can be comforting. There is nothing more fascinating, though, than listening to someone different from you talk about their experiences. Even here at university, I have met so many people who are dissimilar from me, and instead of pushing them away, I have learned to accept our differences and learn from them. Some of my greatest friendships here are with people who are polar opposites to me. Through learning about each others’ lives, we all grow.
- Making snap judgements about people is dangerous.
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Picture this: a few weeks ago, I was sitting in my dorm room with my friends, and we were laughing hysterically about how wrong our first impressions of each other were. After this, I decided that making judgements about others is just, well, rubbish. Perhaps we cannot control what our conscience says about others when we first meet them, but over time, we can train it to quit judging people when we know absolutely nothing about them. Who knows; they may surprise you. Think about it; we all know someone who we thought we hated at first, and they turned out to become one of our closest friends. It’s the whole Mean Girls phenomenon: stop judging others and start accepting them.
- Make the most of every moment.
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I know this one is not so original — we have all heard the phrase “carpe diem” before — but the message is still so underappreciated. Until COVID-19, I didn’t embrace every moment to the fullest and instead let meaningless everyday worries overshadow my happiness. But it’s time we all started making the most of every day: express your love to your friends and family, take a break from studying once in a while, and do what makes you happiest. As the wise (and incredibly handsome) Ferris Bueler once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”