I know I’m not alone when I say that clichés are the worst. From their over-cheeriness to their downright absurdity, clichés are usually misleading, unhelpful, and make me want to give my unsolicited advice to whoever actually lives by them.
Before you start thinking, wow, what a horribly negative person, let me assure you, I’m only negative a reasonable amount of the time, and I prefer the term “realistic.” Clichés can be harmful, and I’d rather not contribute to or be part of naivety. On that note, here are seven clichés that I don’t think anyone should live by:
- You have to look through the rain to see the rainbow
What this actually means: you have to try being happy even when you’re sad. While it’s fairly realistic to assume not everything will be rainbows (pun intended) and sunshine, the idea behind this falls short. If I were crying because my dog ran away, I would not appreciate a friend telling me to see the positives of the situation. In fact, if they tried to get me to look at the bright side, I’d probably cry even harder upon realizing that I have such an annoyingly insensitive friend. It’s good to encourage being okay with sadness, because it’s a part of life and we should become accustomed to not always being happy. I don’t, however, think it’s great to counter every sad situation with happiness. Just let me be sad that my dog ran away without shoving happiness in my face.
2. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince
No, you don’t. I have kissed quite a few frogs and I don’t think kissing any of them brought me closer to my boyfriend. Literally no correlation. Again, I get the intent here, where dating the bad people will bring you one step closer to the one. I think it’s just safer to say you could learn a lot from your previous relationships that could teach you how to make your next one better. It’s also safe to say you could marry your first significant other and never have to deal with frogs, or that all your exes are nice people and none of them are frogs. Either way, this one’s pretty stupid.
3. Everything happens for a reason
This is probably the worst one out there. Similar to the rain and rainbows one, this was created by someone who couldn’t handle the fact that life just sucks sometimes. What’s worse, though, is you’re not just being told to be happy despite your sadness — instead, this implies that your sadness was part of some elaborate plan by the universe, God, or fate, to shape you into the person you are today. Why do we need to find an answer to everything? Sometimes crappy things just happen, and there’s no reason behind it. Me driving my dad’s car into a pole didn’t inspire me to dedicate my life to becoming the next Vin Diesel or acquire better parking skills. Instead, it broke my bank account, fuelled my hate for parking, and I got roasted for being a crappy driver. Trust me, I could’ve lived without that experience.
4. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you
Liar, liar, pants on fire. I once wrote an essay on verbal bullying, and how words are quite literally the easiest way to hurt someone. The first line of my essay? This exact cliché — and yeah, I completely ripped it apart. There’s nothing more powerful than words; you can flip someone’s world upside down by uttering a few of them. You can ruin lives, break hearts, tarnish relationships and someone’s self worth. Why do you think positive affirmations are so popular nowadays? Speaking kindly to others, and more importantly, yourself, goes a very long way.
5. Don’t judge a book by its cover
I have a confession: I, an avid reader, English major, and person who has books tattooed on their arm, solely judges books by their covers. If it isn’t pretty enough to catch my attention at the bookstore, I’m not going to pick it up in the first place. I get what this is trying to convey: there’s more to people than you think, so don’t overlook them when you don’t know them. I’m not saying you should judge someone as an incoherent mess just because they have a bad hair day every now and then. What I am saying, though, is we don’t have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that bratty asshole of a coworker who causes work drama is secretly driven by their abandonment and insecurity issues. Maybe they’re not really a crappy person and once you get to know them, they’re a great friend. That doesn’t mean I’m going to try to get closer to them and figure out what incites their horrible attitude — I will, in fact, judge them by what I see, and stay the hell away from them.
6. Live everyday like it’s your last
Don’t do this one. Just don’t. You’ll probably end up hurting other people, and yourself.
7. There are plenty of fish in the sea
Nine times out of ten, this is said when someone is going through a breakup. Despite the notion that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, I still think this cliché sucks. Picture this: you and your longtime partner suddenly break up. You’re sad, and you can’t stop thinking about all the good times you had. Instead of listening to you and giving you a nice big hug, your friend starts telling you they were never the right person for you anyways and you can find someone better. They tell you you’ll fall in love again and this was just a small hiccup in life; there are a billion other people out there you could meet! I don’t know about you, but as right as they might be, I would not want to hear that. I’m sad over my breakup! The last thing I want to do is think about being in love with other people, realize we were never destined to be, or focus on the fact that there are billions of people in the world and I still happen to be alone.
It’s completely okay to be sad, or negative, or see things exactly for how they are. We should stop trying to push unrealistic notions and false happiness onto people. I’m not saying I lied on my resume — I am an exceptional employee who ensures customer satisfaction with a positive attitude. In hindsight, though, I would tweak that to say “a positive attitude, only in feasible and appropriate situations.” After all, what’s better than honesty?
On that note, I’ll leave you with my last piece of honesty: clichés suck. When life gives you lemons, I suggest you go buy a better fruit. Lemons are sour and gross.