University students know competitiveness. It was, after all, most likely one’s ability to maintain a high grade point average, handle extracurricular activities, and pursue interests that mark them as “unique,” that made them a competitive candidate for university admission. Competitiveness does not simply cease to exist once one is admitted to college, however. Arguably, the need to differentiate yourself from your peers heightens once you are in college because doing so will mark you as a competitive candidate for internships, awards, jobs, etc.
The growing rate of technology and social media use significantly aids in our ability to compare ourselves to others. We live in a time where social media can connect us with millions of other people from across the globe and allows us to observe other people’s lifestyles. Many college students curate an online image of themselves that showcases the highlights of their lives (think: Instagram feeds filled with envy worthy travel photos, for example).
This desire to portray oneself in a flattering light only contributes to the cycle of constant comparisons. Holding the belief that everyone else’s lives are more interesting, exciting, or successful than yours can lead to feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy.
When surrounded by literally thousands of others who have similar goals to you, it is easy to fall into constant comparisons. We all probably know at least one person who is simultaneously able to hold down a job/internship (or even multiple ones) while earning high grades while holding a leadership position on campus while maintaining a vibrant social life. We think, why am I not able to do that? Comparing yourself to these types of “high achieving” people when you are struggling in any of these areas can be discouraging. Plus, these seemingly perfect people are probably struggling in some areas themselves, we just don’t see it.
Constant comparisons (especially in a competitive environment) can have harmful consequences to one’s mental health and self esteem. It then becomes pertinent to remind yourself why there is no real value in comparing yourself to others. Remind yourself that you do not adhere your life to some set pathway or timeline created by arbitrary societal values. Rather, you live a life that is wholly unique. One whose value and measurement of success is defined by solely yourself. And since you and your life are so unique, the rate at which you grow cannot, and should not, be compared to the rate at which those around you grow. And in case you needed reminding, you have so much time to accomplish what it is you want to. You have an entire lifetime, essentially.