No “work” plans. I don’t know what city I’m going to live in yet. How am I feeling about it? Honestly, I’m feeling pretty alright!
As I’m in the middle of exams during the last fall quarter of my college undergraduate career, I’ve been starting to get questions regarding what my “plans” are going to be after college. For instance, I’ve been teaching swimming private lessons to a chemistry professor, and he asked me the other week what my plans are after college. I told him that I don’t know yet, and he replied, saying,
“Your plans can change, but it is always good to have a plan.”
Okayyyy?
I really don’t know what to answer when older adults ask me,
“So what are ya gonna doooo?”
I mean, they don’t say it like that, but that’s what it sounds like in my head, lol.
Earlier this month, when I was attending a funeral (that’s a whole other story), I found myself in the middle of a circle of relatives asking me the same question:
So what are you going to do after college?
I answered honestly, saying that I don’t know yet and that I’m okay with it. When I looked back at them after responding, their eyes just stared at me, with a look that seemed to say,
“I’m not satisfied with your answer.”
WELL, DEAL WITH THE ANSWER BECAUSE IT’S THE TRUTH!
Just kidding. I think that’s what the old me wanted to shout out in my head, but regardless, it is the truth, and I am okay with it. As I’m writing this, I find it kind of strange about how okay I really am about the whole life situation-ship. The reason why I find it strange that I am so calm and chill about what I’m going to do after college is that just two years ago, and every year of my life before that, I always so STRESSED about the future. About where I was going to school, what I wanted to study, how in the world I was going to find an internship, the list goes on. And now? Nada. I’ve just been living it day by day, trying to take care of my mental health while still working hard.
What changed? Why am I going to this so relaxed? Hmm. There are probably several factors that play into my new perspective on how I should be going about this whole post-grad life situation. Well, one, I will graduate in the spring, so maybe it just hasn’t hit me yet. Two, after talking to some people about what working a 9 to 5 is like, to be honest, it just sounds miserable. I used to be so stressed out about planning to work at some corporate place and go the “safe” route, and I’ve done my share of internships working at some places that just didn’t fulfill my wants and needs. So until I find that I don’t see a reason why I need to rush into something that I don’t enjoy.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m sitting around doing nothing with my life. All I know is that I’ve been doing what others have expected me to do for all my life, and I think I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m confident enough in myself to know that I can pursue my passions without sacrificing parts of my soul for the sake of satisfying others. To not compare my goals to anyone else’s. I didn’t care when my relatives looked at me strangely when I told them that I wasn’t sure what my plans are, but I also don’t feel the need to have to tell people that aren’t close to me what those plans are (sorry, reader).
I understand that I am in a privileged position when it comes to graduating from college. First off, I’m going to have a college diploma. There are plenty of people that don’t even have the privilege to go to school, so why should I be so stressed? I have a family net of support, and no, I don’t have a trust fund, but I don’t have to worry too much about having a roof over my head. I received financial aid and scholarships through college, so I will graduate debt-free (if you have student debt I am so sorry I don’t know how you do it so I’m bowing down to you and sending you all the luck and support).
If anything, I am so ecstatic, and ready to face the triumphs and challenges after college. I have an innate feeling that I can do anything that I set my mind out to do. Call me naive, but I understand that it will take some time to really solidify what makes me truly happy. I’ve already started doing that, and it has made my life so much easier. So instead of stressing out about what you’re going to do after college, take some time to really think about what makes your heart happy, and everything else will follow, because what other choice do we have? Rush into something you hate just so that you can quit and then go back to square one? Plans change, and people change. So just do what you feel like doing right now, and only time will tell what will stick.
PS. I don’t know if this is senioritis talking or some zen spirit that I brought back from my travels, but either way, my mind is happy and isn’t that the point of living? Ok now back to studying because if I don’t, then I might not graduate and at that point, I’ll really have something to stress out about.