Friendships are an interesting type of relationship people have. Mainstream media and school often downplay the value of friendships and instead focuses on the significance of familial and romantic relationships. Families are taught to be something that we are bound to for life and our romantic partners are supposed to be the most coveted people to us. But this is not the case for a lot of people. Families are dysfunctional and can sometimes unravel, forcing people to seek their own “chosen” family in other loved ones. Romantic relationships may be unhealthy, absent, or simply less important to some individuals. Friendships, however, come in many capacities and intensities. A person may have a lot of distant acquaintances, one intimate friendship or somewhere in between. People may go in and out of friendships easily or have had the same friend since birth. Whatever the case, having good friendships is a strong indicator of good health. MindWise Innovations notes the variety of health benefits friendships can have, including “increased feelings of belonging, purpose, increased levels of happiness, reduced levels of stress, improved self-worth, and confidence.” It’s no surprise that people that live in “Blue Zones,” or areas in the world where people live the longest, have tight knit communities that give them a sense of purpose.
Transitioning to college can be a tricky time for many friendships. Moving to a different state, meeting new people, and exploring new hobbies can put many friendships to the test. And as a self-driven, academically focused student at a competitive college, it’s easy to completely zone in on coursework and shut others out.
Those long-distance friendships that are being tested by distance and new experiences are nerve-racking. But it’s important to have faith in your friends and let them have faith in you. Exposing ourselves to novel situations and new experiences is the only way we can truly grow. Create enough space between you and your long-distance friends so that you’re all comfortable meeting new people, but still feel connected to one another. Scheduling FaceTimes or phone calls and making plans for when you all see each other next can be a great way thing to look forward to and help keep your friendships active.
That being said, taking that first step to meet new people can be a giant leap for some people. But the friends you make aren’t always the people you sit in your 8:30 AM with three days a week; it’s the people that share the same interests as you, the people that laugh at the same things you do, and the people who like to do the same things in their free time as you. Getting out of your comfort zone is often necessary to find these groups of people. Finding organizations on and off campus that encompass your values and beliefs is a great place to start. At UW, the RSO Directory is a great resource you can use to seek out communities that are doing things you’re interested in.
Friendships, and any kind of relationship, should not feel draining or stressful. Friendships should be positive supplements that enrich our individual lives. So surround yourself with people that lift you up and trust the process.