For as long as I could remember all the choices and decisions, I have made regarding my own experiences have revolved around other people’s feelings and opinions especially my family. Now as a late 20 something I’ve come to accept that the decisions I make and where I want to go with my life are all about me. It’s so hard to make life changing decisions let alone make decisions while taking into consideration others people’s views.
I’m sure many of you, you come from families who highly covet family values. So, you could understand the feeling of not wanting to disappoint your family and keeping their opinions at the forefront of your decision making. I come from a Latino family who emphasize on a regular basis how “family is everything” and family this or that. While family values are great, I don’t think they should hinder what is going to make you happy.
I know this may sound selfish but making decisions that affect YOUR own life is just that YOUR OWN DECISIONS. Of course, there is still a level of respect to be had especially with regards to your parents. Sure, you could listen to them and take in their perspective but ultimately, I encourage to feel empowered and make your OWN decisions even if it goes against their wishes. Maybe sometimes you’ll make choices that don’t turn out as expected, but at least you were steering the wheel as the driver of your own life.
Some of the best advice I recently received from one of my mentors was, “if no one is financing you or supporting you any type of way financially they have no say in what decisions you make.”
I realize that the above statement might be difficult for most, especially when you’re a college student and most of our funding comes from financial aid in the form of loans. However, I have never agreed with a statement so much like the one my mentor shared.
I have spent way too much time taking into consideration the feelings and opinions of others and quite frankly it’s not fair. Making life altering decisions is hard enough already, and including others in the mix doesn’t make it any easier.
So, do you, and don’t wait as long as I did to feel comfortable with asserting your own decision making. You don’t owe anyone an explanation and you most certainly don’t need to feel guilty about doing something that is going to make you happy.