Dear Department of Licensing (DOL),
Why are you the way you are?
Why are you so inefficient? Why does the world become grey when I walk through your doors? Why are your chairs ziptied together to stay organized in a perfect line, yet the organization of your files seems to be chaos? Why does your website take 30 years to load? Why does your phone-service always have a hold line? Why does time seem to freeze as soon as I am handed one of those pathetic, crumpled numbers that will dictate my life for the next three hours?
Driver’s licensing was created sometime in the early 1900s, yet here we still struggle to take a picture for a plastic card we are required to carry around for years to come.
We know the drill, our license renewal rolls around so we get all fancied up for that tiny little picture we’ll have to show to an unexpectedly high number of people over the next six years. For us ladies, that means doing our hair a little nicer than normal, adding a little makeup, and picking a shirt we won’t regret before our next renewal. After waiting an impossibly long time in the “Express” Line, we are called up to a desk and asked to verify our information. We then stand with our back pressed against that ugly blue screen and a hidden camera snaps before we even look up from trying to get our feet behind the right line. The employee says the picture is done and then requests that we make a signature that will also be on our license for the next six years. Inevitably, the pen is broken or the screen is too small and our beautiful signature is just an ugly cirlce with an awkward tail. We stand there awkwardly until the depressed employee hands us a thin paper that essentially turns our identity into a barcode, “Your license will arrive by mail in seven to ten days.” Yeah, I doubt that.
DOL why did you lose my license in the mail? Why did your employees tell me that I had to wait a month to call for a new license to be sent? Why, when I called a month later, was I required to come in again and repeat the whole process? Why did I have to retake my picture? I wasn’t ready to take a picture that day, DOL. Why was my address wrong on my file after I corrected it three times? Will I actually get my license this time, DOL? Or will I be visiting you again?
If it isn’t evident, I would rather prefer not to visit again. At least until you get your shit together.
Sincerely,
Every person who has to deal with you. Ever.