I still remember receiving the unfortunate email on March 13. As Governor Jay Inslee’s new mandates for the state were being implemented to prevent the spread of COVID-19,  in-person lectures were canceled for the following week, and finals were to be completed online. I had a lecture the next morning and I was confused about the gravity of the situation, which I remember later attending, then naively asking my professor how online exams would work. I bolted back to my dorm to find my roommate packing, then having a conversation about convincing our other roommate to go home because it was safer. She didn’t want to leave. We thought It would be over in less then a month. My roommates and I had packed up and left that same day. For lack of better words, it felt apocalyptic.
We came back to the dorms 2 weeks later to pack all our things. It was eerie and quiet, something I’d never experienced in the dorms. Sorry hall mates, Lady Gaga will not be belting out her cover of “La Vie En Rose” near you, ever again. And whoever recorded us, I hope the sound of our voices echoes through the walls of your home. I bet you miss it. I know I do.
I couldn’t sleep so I walked around the halls, and very few people had stayed. I saw a couple of international students alone, heating up their food. I walked back to my hall to find a drunk guy trying to open his door; he was wasted and he’d been fighting. We left him a note hoping he’d be okay in the morning. But hey, that’s normal? And then we left.
Although it’s cheesy to say a chapter ended that day, it really did. We have never experienced a “normal” life since then. There’s no romanticizing this pandemic, this has been a terrible time for a lot of people. There are people experiencing trauma, losing their jobs and businesses. That same year, I developed acute insomnia. I couldn’t sleep well for weeks. Too much overthinking, lack of control, and hope for the future. I’d run on 3-4 hours of sleep at best, hoping to get through the day. I’d get mad and tell myself I wasn’t doing enough.
Pandemic fatigue is real, burnout is real. In fact, it’s inevitable. Let’s be real: some of us need new eyeglass prescriptions. Creativity levels are at an all-time low, there’s only so much to build from.
And so far the best advice I’m constantly given is to be nicer to myself. We are all collectively trying to get by in the best way we can. Although we’ve done well in adapting to the pandemic due to technology, It has also brought up issues. I’ve had some background using Zoom before the shutdown, but I found the situation to be funny. Although we have the technology available like Zoom, Google Teams, Discord, and even Facetime, it doesn’t make things easier as humans. Sure, we can get by doing online work and breakout rooms, but I recognize that as much as technology is useful in interactions, it cannot be the sole piece to the puzzle.
The worst outcome is seeing so many people get sick and lose their lives. We all want to move on, forget this ever happened, and enjoy life as before. But there are responsibilities we should adhere to, if not for ourselves, then for our elders and people who are more easily impacted. This means physical distancing! There are still people refusing to wear masks as if it’s not the best thing in the world. Please get yourself a cute one and move on! I’m thankful my family hasn’t been personally affected by this pandemic, and we are grateful to be in good health. But I acknowledge how selfish it is to constantly be meeting up with large groups of people. At the end of this long tunnel, we have good things to look forward to. Although it’s troubling how unexplainable this is, it won’t always last.