As a university student on the quarter system I’m feeling a little FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) watching my friends at semester schools come home for summer while I’m barely halfway done with spring term. It’s hard to see them ask to hang out while I’m busy studying for midterms. But, it makes me realize how strong these friendships are. That these connections from high school are still powerful and relevant a year after graduation, and a year into our own new eras. I know these friendships may not last forever, because, let’s be honest…keeping long distance friendships is hard. But, over my freshman year of college I’ve tested out the strength of my friendships, and I’ve found some solutions and practices besides a simple text to keep these friendships that hold so much nostalgia.
Two of my best friends go to college states away from me, one living in an entirely different time zone. I was the one who decided to stay in-state and go to a school 30 minutes from my hometown. Lucky for me, my dear friend Madelyn is also on the quarter system. Together we wait for June to come sooner; counting down the days til she flys back home and when we are both free from the stressors of college coursework. But, for my friend Daniel who came home for summer break last week, he’s ready to spend days on Alki beach or take a midweek road trip down the Oregon coast, wanting to hang out when my summer isn’t even close to starting.
I spent most of last summer with a handful of people, trying to prioritize the expansiveness of summer while there were no rules or homework. I’ve tried my best over the past 8 months to stay as connected as possible with the people I used to see regularly. Whether that means texting them weekly, calling every once in a while, writing a physical letter to surprise them, or even taking a weekend off to go visit them at their respective schools. For other past connections and friendships from high school that have been more stagnant while in college, none of these things happened. I’m not sure whether or not we will reconnect come summer, but I can hope the company will welcome itself again.
I know I will struggle come June, isolated from newfound college friends who will go home to their respective states until school starts again in the fall. That warm quarter of rest will provoke new long distance friendships, ones that might be even harder. The friends I’ve made at college have been a dorm away all school year. I’m with them for hours of the day and night, more than I was ever able to see my friends in high school. Sometimes I forget that I’ve only known them since September. It feels like we’ve held these friendships in our hearts for years. It will be a difficult few months, but similar to the separation I’ve felt from my current long distance friendships. On both sides of this teeter-totter of long-distance friends, I’m counting down the days til I see them next.
My favorite solution to this missing puzzle piece feeling has been writing letters. It’s “old timey” to most, yet brings such a fun way of communicating from states away. At first it surprised my friends. I got responses like “I can’t believe you sent me a letter…who does that anymore?” or “I don’t even have an envelope or a stamp to respond!” Each time I pick up a neatly addressed return envelope my heart springs at what couldn’t be said in a simple text. This form of communication has allowed us to sit and think about what we want to say, like we are sending a journal entry to each other. Sometimes emotional, sometimes funny, and sometimes splattered with spilled coffee. It has been the best surprise, and one of my favorite cures to those long distance blues.
Talking on the phone or writing a letter sometimes isn’t enough. In my extreme case of emotional longing, I flew to my best friend’s school to spend a weekend together. While yes, I know this is not easily achievable for every college student who misses their best friend, it worked for me. It was so fun to see her new environment, meet the campus characters and places I’d heard all about over the phone, and spend an entire weekend reconnecting after months of separation. It was the weekend we both needed in order to recharge that spark. I look forward to making that trip again next year, maybe even
Any long distance friendship, relationship, or connection needs a day set in stone to look forward to seeing each other again. So, as my semester system friends come home, I keep track of the days til I see them next. For my fellow quarter system students, June will come soon enough, and long distance friends will be no more than a text bubble away.