In my friend group, I am known as the girl who is always doing something. Whether it be an internship, a volunteering opportunity, writing, clubs, or research, I’m always filling out applications and attempting to add more to my plate. The stay-at-home orders have enhanced this.
Being stuck 24/7 a day with no obligation to go hang out with friends, run errands, or go out to eat, brings this notion of “having to be productive”, or else we are just wasting this precious time. When we would go to work or to school, there was a set time for productivity and our time in our homes was our time to be relaxed. We had already worked our requirement, therefore we deserved to take a break. But now, we are home. And because we are home all the time and are forced to do school from a screen, work from a screen, and have no other in-person social interactions besides who we are quarantining with, we feel less productive. And this lack of “productive vibes” enables us to feel the need to overcompensate this with setting high expectations for ourselves.
While I’m scrolling through TikTok, I see thousands of videos about self-improvement: workouts, workshops, remote internships, skills to learn. And in all honesty, they are helpful! I’ve been able to grow my skills in Adobe Cloud, exercise, have taken on embroidery, and have successfully gotten a few internships. However, it’s also draining. Being known as the “busy girl”, quarantine has pressured me to try to be even more productive. I began to think of ways to improve myself and would establish this expectation of myself. However, as soon as this pressure hit, I began to see myself as less and less of value. It was as though my worth was dependent on how productive I was and if I even gave myself a couple of minutes to rest, I would feel guilty and ashamed of myself. These aren’t “goals”, it’s me trying to feel valued.
While it is great to have goals during quarantine or the desire to learn more, it’s also okay to take this valuable time to give yourself the break you deserve. As humans, we are always busy. We are busy with school, with work, with friends, with family, with the future, that we never have time to just chill. Use this time wisely to what will benefit your health and wellbeing.