A frequent trend among our generation is very little to no communication between people involved in a casual relationship or hookup. I feel like a common misconception with this mindset is that sharing your thoughts and feelings shouldn’t be explored because it turns a casual relationship into more of a personal one. Personally, I disagree with this type of thinking, because regardless of the type of relationship, individuals should respect each other’s thoughts and feelings; communication in a casual fling is not a bad practice at all.
As weird as people might think it is, both parties communicating what they want out of whatever the relationship will be is in fact the key. If you’re just looking for something casual, vocalize it. It avoids any confusion from both sides about what to expect and ultimately, in my opinion, makes for a better experience for everyone. No misconceptions about what’s going on, no misunderstandings down the line, each party is happy.
I’ve noticed from the way people talk about hookups on social media, that there is not a lot of communication taking place before meeting up, which I just find odd as well. Before hooking up with someone, it’s definitely important to ask about STI’s. According to Dr. Elizabeth Boskey, one of the most important things to talk about is making sure they are clean, or if they are currently involved with anyone else. While I always thought it might be weird to ask someone, it honestly isn’t if you both want to practice safer sex. If someone does find that question too awkward, then clearly they aren’t very sexually responsible, and sleeping with them isn’t a good idea after all.
Another part of hooking up is continuing to keep communication present during sex as well, and it’s something I feel like people don’t do too often. Sex or any sexual activity should be pleasant for all parties involved, so making sure a person is comfortable with something beforehand is important. Even during, I think it’s still key to check in with each other and vocalize boundaries.
As a straight woman, much of the experience I’ve had is with men. In personal situations, I’ve realized communication is usually always lacking, a societal stigma that I believe should change. Sadly, gender stereotypes as well as social expectations surrounding hookups and casual relationships tend to make that much harder. Regardless, it’s important to remember that in whatever situation you are in, the other person is a human being. Basic human respect should be present no matter what kind of relationship it is. Respect their feelings and thoughts, as they should also do.