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Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back. It took me a while, but I eventually learned just how true this saying is.
4th grade: When I first encountered “bullying” among girls
In my class, there was a group of girls who were popular because of the expensive clothes they wore every day. They started to bully those who were not wearing outfits as pretty or girly as theirs. A friend of mine got caught. Her shoes were often missing and filled with dirt when they were found. She was very smart with a friendly personality and even came from the family of a famous composer, but none of that mattered to the “cool girls” because her clothes were from fast-fashion stores. They bullied her for wearing something anybody else could get.
I stopped caring about outfits when I found out, even though I used to love fashion and dreamed of becoming a Hollywood star.
8th grade: When I faced “the hierarchy”
I spent most of my teenage years in a girls’ school where I originally expected to meet a cool squad to hang out with…only to find out a powerful hierarchy existed. On top were those who were good at both sports and academics. They were allowed to say anything to others even it was offensive because they were the “coolest”. There was always drama. Who got more attention or social media “likes” almost seemed to be as important as the air: you could not breathe without popularity. This made me want to stay away from building close relationships with other girls and depend more on my bro-type friendships with guy friends.
I stopped talking to girlfriends outside of school; I was scared that someone might turn their back on me.
My life has changed since I got into college.
Freshman year: When I met my best friend
She is a most beautiful person both inside and out. To be honest, the first impression of her was “another cool girl who probably is sassy and snobby,” just like the ones back at my old high school. Embarrassingly, I judged her because of how pretty she was. Then she completely changed my perspective. She is charming in every way: her looks, her brain and her very warm heart. We have traveled together different places and countries, and she gets along with everybody in my life, especially my old grandma. Most importantly, she makes me want to be a better person and be honest to myself.
After I met her, I started to enjoy fashion again and got more confidence in myself, because I knew she would always be there if I needed someone.
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Sophomore: When I finally, really, truly felt like I became a girl
My squad. Coolest roommates. Girls’ night. Shopping trips. Everything I used to dream happened at last. Living with 8 girls definitely made me a better girlfriend and more fun person in terms of what I talk or what I do. They have made me enjoy my life more in every possible way. Knowing that “they have my back”, now drives me to reach out to more people to become friends. I cannot thank them enough for literally always supporting me, making me laugh and motivating me to improve myself.
I became the person I wanted to be. I became the girl who is not afraid of being herself with passion for fashion and all the business she’s involved in. I became proud of being a girl.
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Some may say that they don’t need a squad or whatever group of friends to spend time with…in fact, I was just like that. But believe me, with many girls who you can trust and open up to…your life is way more colorful.