It went something like this: you met a guy at a house party and you subtly flirted all night until he finally asked for your number. You couldn’t believe how cute he is and that you’ve never crossed paths before. He seemed so genuinely interested in getting to know you and you texted all night long after you got home. It carried on until the next day and you finally made plans to meet up the following weekend. Maybe you hung out a few more times, maybe you kind of dated, maybe it never got there. Nonetheless, he stopped replying. Out of nowhere. Was it something you said that made him run for the hills? Did you get physical too soon? Not soon enough? Were you giving him the wrong signals?
What makes someone fully cut off contact with someone they had a connection with?
Sounds pretty dramatic when you put it that way, but it really can feel so jarring.
Some people have really fixed mindsets about the type of person they see themselves dating or ending up with. If they don’t feel that something, they move on. Our generation has everything at our fingertips, and the world feels so vast and exciting. We’ve let some of the small courtesies go, and it shows in our poor grammar, our preference for texting, our lack of explanations. But that’s not always it. Maybe it’s cowardliness, maybe it’s carelessness, maybe it doesn’t matter. After all, sometimes I’m grateful not to know.
We have the luxury of moving on: physically to new places and mentally to new prospects.
Give yourself a day or two to really feel it. Then distract yourself with that new Netflix show you’ve been dying to watch. Vent to all your friends; I’m sure you’ll end up laughing. Go on a sunset run with another single buddy. Get out and off the internet.
Rejection can feel as bad as physical pain sometimes. But it is guaranteed to happen and it has happened to everyone since before ghosting was a possibility. This new form of rejection feels so painful because it’s so unnatural, but it still tells us the same thing. That person wasn’t for you because they didn’t treat you with respect. Not everyone is for you, and you’re not for everyone.
And that’s perfectly okay.