You took the leap of faith. You took in a deep breath with your heart in your hands, looked them in the eye and said something along the lines of:
“I like you.”
“I have feelings for you.”
“I want to be more than friends.”
And they turned you down.
Instant heartbreak.
Rejection is never easy, but it’s unfortunately a fact of life. In your ~70-80 years, you’re bound to get rejected from a lot of things whether it be jobs, clubs, career opportunities, or love. While it may seem soul-crushing at the moment, it always gets better.
I’ve definitely gone through this experience before of shooting my shot and missing, and let me tell you: it’s absolutely awful. On one hand you know they aren’t trying to hurt your feelings, they aren’t trying to insult you, it’s nothing personal.
But it still hurts. A lot.
All is not lost – learning to bounce back and heal from rejection only gets easier as you get older.
Here are some tips I have for any of you out there who are dealing with getting over someone you never even dated:
1. Write down your feelings
Writing things down has been shown as one of the most effective ways to release emotions. If people aren’t available to vent to, write your feelings down. Articulating the way you feel, putting your emotions into tangible sentences and words is perhaps the best thing you can do for your mind in a time of stress. Having words in front of you to reread as you heal is confirmation from yourself that you can and will move on in time.
2. Out of sight, out of mind
It’s always best to take some space from people who have hurt you (even if it was unintentional). Take some time, avoid their social media updates or seeing them like you usually do, for a few days or weeks. That timeline of space, no matter how long it may be, will allow you to reflect on how you feel. It can help you think about next steps. If you and your crush are friends, think about whether you’d still be able to remain friends after this. Chances are, you value them too much to simply cut things off.
3. Don’t be afraid to get back out there!
When I was rejected by a boy I was madly in love with for years, I thought I would never have a crush again. I thought it was over. But that’s never the case! Some things just aren’t meant to be – and it just means that there are greater plans (and people) in store for you. After all, we all deserve to be with someone that wants to be with us.
You can do this. Everything is a learning process. Take this experience as a chance to learn more about yourself, a chance to spend time with your friends, to go outside and enjoy nature. And pat yourself on the back! Shooting your shot, or risking a friendship, is never easy. It takes courage and bravery to do what you did. I’m proud of you!