One of the worst situations to be stuck in is having a crush on one of your boyfriend’s closest friends. If this has happened to you, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Many girls don’t understand why they start to feel jittery and excited when their boyfriend invites them to hang out with his group of friends and suddenly find themselves wanting to know more about them. Sometimes, it’s because many of the qualities they find in their boyfriend are similar to the qualities reflected in their best friend.
Also, the more time someone spends with another person, the closer they get and the more likely they will fall for each other. This is where the situation gets complicated. How do you deal with how you feel toward that person you met through your significant other without hurting your relationship?
First, think about what prompted you to fall for that friend in the first place. Was it because of their attractiveness or physical features? Was it because they made you feel differently than how your significant other makes you feel when you’re with them? When did you realize that you needed to proceed this newfound acquaintance with caution?
Then, remind yourself about what made you fall for your current boyfriend and how long you have been together. Think about how they make you feel currently, and think back to the best memories you’ve had together. Are these things you’re willing to sacrifice if you dig a deeper hole for yourself in pursuing his friend? Or are the words that run through your mind, “If only I wasn’t already taken…”?
Don’t act on your feelings. Ever heard of ‘infatuation?’ It’s basically blind desire for someone or something without real reason. No one really knows why it happens, but it’s basically an illusion of being in love.
Something to think about that will make the situation less sticky is knowing if the feelings are one-sided. Does your boyfriend’s friend know you have a slight crush on him? Are his responses more positive or is he actually trying to put his walls up? Chances are, if he’s your boyfriend’s best friend, he’s not going to sacrifice their friendship over you. And depending on how well you know your boyfriend, he might not be as willing to either.
In one way or another, feelings are going to be hurt and at least one person will be betrayed. Is it really worth it to break up with your significant other for someone that you only met because of him? It’s all about honesty. Sooner or later, your feelings will be found out by someone and it’s better to hear the truth from you than through a series of suspicious events, like always asking to hang out with your boyfriend’s friend when your boyfriend’s not invited or paying more attention to the friend than you do to your partner.
Figure out your feelings early and let someone know as soon as possible so that you can talk it out. Remember, if the feelings are only one-sided, it’s best to try to move on and prioritize whose relationship you value more.