Coming into college, I had a lot of nervous excitement about all the things to come in the next four years. Getting accepted in my major, joining a sorority, receiving acceptable grades — all exciting yet simultaneously terrifying. However, one other thing was also on my mind: finding love. I know, I know, that is not what college is for. But coming from a family whose parents met in college and fell in love, I’ve felt this weird pressure to find the one at some point during my college years. That said, I’ve quickly run into a roadblock preventing me from meeting my Prince Charming: the college dating scene.
Let’s be honest here: dating in college kinda sucks. In a culture where it feels like you can either hook-up with or marry the person you’re talking to, it’s hard to find someone who wants the same thing as you—and that’s terrifying. From what I’ve found in college so far, lots of people fear relationships. As a girl who prefers relationships to dating around, it’s been quite tough finding someone who wants to commit to me. But why? What’s wrong with relationships in college? I think the answer lies within the idea of independence. People come into college and gain a lot of freedom and independence that they didn’t have before, and I think it translates into their view of love and relationships. What’s the point of being tied down when you can have some fun and play the field?
Perhaps, though, some aren’t ready for a relationship and that’s okay too. However, the unfortunate alternative to sleeping or dating around in college seems to be being in an extremely committed relationship. And hey, we aren’t getting any younger, so dating in college leads to marriage right? Well, not really. As someone who came into college with a pretty serious relationship, I can say that those types of relationships don’t always lead to marriage (considering that particular relationship crashed and burned pretty hard). Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean that they’ll become your college sweetheart (is that even a thing?). And it also doesn’t mean that you’ll date for a month and move on to the next just to have a vicious cycle repeat itself until you’re convinced you’ll never find love. Relationships in college are really what you make of them and communication is essential with that.
In all honesty, love in college is what you make of it. If you’re someone who wants to date everyone in your dorm building—go for it! You do you! If you’re someone who wants to take it slow and find the right one — do it! Take your time! No matter your view on love and relationships in college, you’ll be able to find people with your same perspective. Stay true to yourself and your feelings and find solace in knowing that love and relationships are controlled by you.