Okay, we can all admit: there are just some days where you’re feeling down and can’t help it. Things are just off and you feel like you can’t take a look at yourself in the mirror without pointing out all of the flaws you have inside and out. And for some of us, those days turn into weeks and then into months until you find yourself in a downward spiral with no way to get out. And that feeling sucks.
Having moderate depression and anxiety, I am no stranger to those periods of feeling down. However, I’ve learned a few things from my mental health including how to get through those rough seasons of life. I believe the most important tool one can use to get out of those dark times is learning how to love yourself. And that’s no easy feat. It takes time, effort, and patience and many of us don’t know where to start. I’m here to give you some helpful tips on how to get the self-love train rolling and to hopefully make those hard days just a little easier.
Make a Love List
This definitely sounds weird and self-conceited to some, however, this is one of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling down about myself. Once a day write down one thing that you like about yourself. It can be internal, external, whatever your heart desires – just write something. And if there are times where you feel like you can’t write down anything, think of a compliment your best friend or parents would give you. And when you reach one of those days, pull out your list to remind yourself of amazing you truly are.
Create a Boss Bitch Playlist
Having a pump up playlist to listen to when you’re feeling down is a sure way to make you feel on top of the world. Adding songs like “No Scrubs” by TLC, “Confident” by Demi Lovato, and “Salute” by Little Mix will have you feeling empowered in no time. And jamming out and screaming lyrics by yourself in your room is by far my favorite way to boost my mood.
Start a Daily Journal
Daily journaling is another one of my favorite ways to de-stress and feel better about myself. Being able to word vomit all of my consuming thoughts onto a page or note on my phone makes me feel like I’m able to let go of things that I’m unnecessarily holding onto – and it’s a great feeling, especially if those thoughts are toxic to your self-love. Having a clear mind can refocus you and can help you move on with things that have been bothering you in the past and daily journaling is a great way to start the day with a clean slate.
Replace Negatives with Positives
I am definitely guilty of being extremely hard on myself to the point where I become my own worst enemy – and that’s no bueno. One thing I’m constantly working on is replacing negative sayings with positive ones. If I get a less than desirable score on a mid-term, instead of beating myself up about it and saying something like “I’m so stupid! Why can’t I be smarter?”, I’ll replace it with something like “It’s okay, I am smart and know I can study harder and do better on the next one.” It’s the simple positive affirmations that can make the biggest difference when it comes to self-love.
Celebrate All of Your Wins
Even though you may be going through a rough period, that doesn’t mean you can’t have good days here and there. Celebrate those days. Be happy for yourself on those days. Aced a midterm? Hell yeah! Cleaned your room? You go girl! Got out of bed? We love to see it. Celebrate even the tiniest of wins because you deserve it. We all view struggle in different degrees and you’re allowed to be proud of yourself whenever you get the chance.
Now, I know that self-love won’t just happen with a snap of your fingers (although I wish it did), however, these tips can help you start. Just know we all go through it and you’re not alone in this situation. We’re all rooting for each other. You got this.
If you or a friend needs help contact these hotlines:
Suicide Prevention: 1-800-273-8255
Disaster Distress Helpline: 1-800-985-5990
Crisis Text Line: text DBSA to 741741
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-442-4673