No one warned me.
Let me just preface, you might think the majority of this article is just me being hyperbolic. Oh how I wish this was the case. Alas, this is a genuine on-the-ground testament to how germ riddled your freshman first semester will be. I hope you brought your lysol wipes.
So you know that section of the WashU recommended packing list that we all skipped? Grave. Mistake. All those useless cleaning supplies and that entire line of clorox wipes you thought you could do without? They were your only line of defense.
You were too cocky. You thought you were an impenetrable college student, better than the average mortal merely on the basis that you got into WashU? Wrong.
The freshman plague is a very legitimate, very horrible, do-not-dare-say-its-name airborne assassin. As I sit here writing this, I’m still in remission from my THIRD bout of it.
The first wave wasn’t so bad, and I endured on AllegraD and benadryl.
The second wave sent me spiraling to urgent care on a Saturday night. I ended up getting a steroid shot and going on a course of antibiotics that while significantly helped, according to my mom were ill-prescribed. Since my mother is rarely wrong, a series of painful back and forth phone calls with my home doctor ensued, where I tried, in vain, to pretend I had the slightest idea what I was talking about when it came to my own medical care. After this headache, both literal and figurative from the doctor conflicts, subsided, I had a week of bliss.
Then BAM.
The third wave.
*time stamp- a month and a half had passed at this point.
The third wave was so bad that it’s certifiably chronicable. So here are some snippets from the survival journal I started once I realized I was again riddled with this unconquerable illness.
Day 1: Searing sore throat. Cough drops were my new favorite candy. I could’ve probably detected an off-brand cough drop with my eyes closed. Contemplated learning sign language to communicate with the outside world.
Day 2: The onset of the headache. This was by far the worst headache I’ve ever experienced. The sheer amount of sinus pressure in my head would’ve probably have been enough to blow over the Great Wall of China.
Day 3: Bedridden and sleeping like I was dead.
Day 4-Infinity: Stuffy nose and junky cough. It’s incredible really, how long your favorite class can feel when you have to blow your nose but don’t want to disturb everyone. Equally lovely is how you have to suppress your laughter every time you find something funny, for fear that it will spiral into a 3 minute gasping coughing fit.
Overall, freshman first semester is riddled, infested and plagued with sickness. Nearly everyone I know has been horribly sick at some point this semester, and had to sulk around campus missing out on weekend fun and in desperate need of a hug from their mom. If you’re an incoming freshman, please bring the following: allegraD, benadryl, sudafed, mucinex, electrolyte powder, clorox wipes, and maybe, just maybe, a mask.
One thing for certain; you’ll never look at a door handle the same way again.