Dear Thai Lime Vinaigrette at the DUC,
You make me lose faith in my ability to be healthy. You see I just ate a half and half today lunch and I’m pretending to be healthy but after adding you to my make-your-own salad today, you make me lose faith in being healthy. These vegetables that I’m eating to make my mom happy now tastes like squeaky rubber bands. Don’t remind me of my braces days.
Your name is so deceptive too. Vinaigrette is supposedly healthier than ranch or mustard dressing too. Also, you know I had some delicious Thai food in my life: pad thai, tom yum soup, and green curry to name a few. And you have no right to have the name “Thai” if you taste like expired water. Also you are taking the phrase “hint of lime” way too seriously. Where’s the lime?!?
So now I’ve been staring at you for 5 minutes debating whether or not I should eat you. The half and half is right over there. Maybe I should get that instead… thanks a lot.
Sincerely,
Deeply Regretful
By Vivienne Chang